[As] I was enabled to hope and believe in a crucified
Saviour, the burden was removed from my conscience, and
not only my peace, but my health was restored, I cannot
say instantaneously, but I recovered from that hour. ...
From that time, I trust I have been delivered from the
power and dominion of sin: though, as to the effects and
conflicts of sin dwelling in me, I still “groan, being bur-
dened.” I now began to wait upon the Lord. Though I have
often grieved His Spirit and foolishly wandered from Him
since ..., His powerful grace has preserved me from such
black declensions as this I have last recorded.
... [Humbly trusting in His mercy and promises, that
He would guard and guide me to the end], the Lord was
gracious to my weakness, and did not suffer the enemy to
prevail against me. I was gradually led to see the incon-
venience and folly of one thing after another, and when I
saw it the Lord strengthened me to give it up. But it was
some years before I was delivered from occasional compli-
ance in many things which at this time I do not allow my-
self.
DISCIPLESHIP DESIRED -- SECURITY REALIZED
For about the space of six years, the Lord was pleased
to lead me in a secret way. I had learned something of the
evil of my heart; I had read the Bible over and over with
several good books, and had a general view of gospel
truths; but my conceptions were, in many respects, con-
fused, not having in all this time met with one acquaint-
ance who could answer my inquiries.
Upon my arrival at St. Christopher's this voyage, I
found a captain of a ship from London, whose conversation
was greatly helpful to me. He was a man of experience in
the things of God, and of a lively communicative turn. ...