SEX
146 _COSMOPOLITAN _JUNE 2017
A Great question...it’s totally
up to you! “For some lesbians,
losing your virginity could
mean oral. For others, it could
be pants off, rubbing your gen-
itals up against each other,”
says Queen. It could also mean
manual penetration, using a
toy, having your first orgasm
with your partner...you get
the picture. “The whole idea
that you’re not having sex with
somebody unless there’s inter-
course with penetration is
a super-limited way to think
about what sex is all about,”
says Queen. In other words, a
penis-meets-vagina hookup
isn’t the only way to be sexually
active or cash in your Vcard.
So feel free to classify the mile-
stone in a way that makes
sense for you.QWhat does
it mean
to lose my
virginity
if I’m
a lesbian?
SEX
TOY OF
THE
MONTHWhat’s the
best sex toy...
for an earth-
shattering O?
The Queen
Bee ($149,
hotoctopuss
.com) is like
two toys in
one. Place
the gentle
massaging
surface on
your C-spot
for soft rum-
blings, or flip
it over for
OMG high-
magnitude
pulsing.
Its genius flat
shape can
hit all the
sensitive
spots on your
entire body.A He wants to last longer than
his usual five thrusts, does he?
We kid! In all seriousness, these
numbing sprays, like K-Y Dura-
tion ($20, k-y.com), contain lido-
caine, an anesthetic that dentists
use to temporarily desensitize
nerve endings. When applied to
the penis, it can make a man feel
less friction—so he can delay his
finale. And yes, if you’re not care-
ful, the spray could numb you
too. After applying 3 to 10 sprays
along his head and shaft, have 15
minutes of foreplay to allow the
formula to be absorbed before he
brings his member close to you,
says ob-gyn Draion Burch, DO. ■
—JULIE VADNALQMy guy
wants to
try one of
those new
numbing
sprays.
Will it numb
me too?
QI’m really
squeamish
about
anyone
going dow n
on me. How
do I enjoy
it more?
A Having someone all up in
your lady bits is intimate stuff,
and fully embracing it can take
a few steps. “You have to be able
to relax, be in the moment, and
feel completely safe and unin-
hibited with your partner so you
can communicate what feels
good,” says ob-gyn Sherry Ross,
MD, author of She-ology: The
Definitive Guide to Women’s
Intimate Health. Period. To get
into that relaxed headspace,
start by boosting and solidify-
ing your vagina confidence.
A little grooming can help make
you feel super f ly (the style and
how bare you go is up to you
and only you). If you’re wor-
ried about your scent (although
you really shouldn’t be), you
can freshen up pre-oral with a
quick shower or hygienic femi-
nine wipe. When you love your
own parts, it’s easier to accept
that your partner loves them
too...and then your mind can
focus on just how amazing that
appreciation feels.DUDE, DON’T
STOP TO POSE
FOR A PIC.
KEEP GOING!FOX HARVARD/THELICENSINGPROJECT.COM