29By the time we reached our destination the sea had risen so high
that we had to anchor far out lest the yacht be dashed against the
island's sheer coral cliffs. Mrs. Yacht took one look at the stormy
world and said at once that she didn't feel up to trying it and would
stay on board with the girls.
What could I do but follow Mr. Yacht and the Tongan guide we'd
brought along? I slipped over the side into the wild gray waves and
beat my way toward the forbidding looking island. Long before I got
there I was winded and when, at last, I stood on the narrow ledge
beside the cave's entrance I was panting for breath.
The guide stood beside me and seemed in no better state although
he pointed authoritatively to a spot in the nearby sea. Mr. Yacht
nodded. flipped his feet into the air and disappeared from sight.
Before long he was back shouting excitedly to the guide and me to
follow him and then he was gone again. I looked down at the sea and in
the uniform grayness could see no spot that looked more like an opening
than any other.
I thought of the girls on the boat, of my husband at home, of our
happy life together and saying to the guide, "Go on, I can't" I plunged
into the sea and swam, defeated, back to the yacht.
All the way home the proud Mr. Yacht regaled us with the ease with
which he had glided into the cave and of the beauty he had found there.
I felt as anyone feels who's had a chance to do the thing he wanted to
do and has muffed it.
And so the years sped by. My husband died and, full of new
responsibility as head of our little family. I told myself and all my
friends that I couldn't think of going into the cave "until the girls