32 GOLF.COM / S e p t ember 2019
AFTER MONTHS OF FUNDAMENTALS AND STEP-BY-STEP
INSTRUCTION, I’M ON THE BRINK OF MY FIRST FOR-REAL LOOP.
AM I BRIMMING WITH CONFIDENCE? FEAR IS MORE LIKE IT.
RECISELY TWO WEEKS FROM the second I’m typing this, I will,
for the first time in my life, step onto an actual golf course to play
18 holes of actual golf. I’ve played nine before, at a bachelor party,
and by the end of it all I’d learned was that I need to be better about
sunscreen and that several of my college friends appeared to have developed
serious drinking problems. This time I’ll be heading out with Jon Tattersall,
my instructor these past many months, to see if any of his lessons have stuck,
if any of his endlessly patient words have had any effect on me whatsoever.
I call Tattersall to make sure we’re still on. He answers the phone with his
signature, sardonically cheerful “Hello, Will!”—a distinctly British tone—and
then asks me to hold. About 10 seconds later, I hear the unmistakable swoosh
of a perfect golf swing. (Mine sounds more like a bicycle tumbling down a flight
of stairs.) Returning to the phone, Tattersall says, “Sorry,
I had to take that shot.” It dawns on me that maybe the
only times this guy hasn’t been on a golf course in the past
few months has been when he’s messing around with me.
“How’d ya hit it?” I ask.
“I didn’t miss it,” he says.
“Go on ahead,” I hear Tattersall tell whoever he’s playing
with. The last thing I want to
do is make my coach miss a
round, so I promise to be brief.
Basically, I’m a little nervous
about our upcoming loop.
“What are you worried
about?” he asks.
“I’m worried that I’m going
to be terrible,” I say.
He pauses. I’m glad he
doesn’t say the first thing that
pops into his head, because I
bet I wouldn’t like it. Instead
he says, “You will be as good as you are,” which sounds to
me like some sort of Zen koan.
The more golf you play, the more comfortable you are
with your level of skill, he explains. When someone gets
angry on the golf course, it’s not when they hit a shot exactly
the way they want to; it’s when they disappoint themselves.
If I slice a drive or fly a green with my approach, Tattersall
says my frustration won’t be that I’m not hitting the ball
like Dustin Johnson; my frustration will be that I’m not
hitting the ball like Will Leitch. Good shots happen and
bad shots happen, and true pros have (mostly) learned to
accept the mystery, to recognize that, in the end, you’ll
find your natural level of talent. When you’re “under the
gun,” as Tattersall likes to put it, it’s the inexperienced
player who’ll obsess about hitting the perfect shot—and
who’ll be furious when they don’t. The better you are, the
better you handle yourself. True talent is just being the
best version of yourself.
I tell Tattersall I’m not too worried about this. I know I’m
not a good golfer. I have few expectations. I’m generally
an affable person. I’ll keep my cool on the course.
He laughs. “Everybody says that until they play,” he
says. “But look—passion is good. If you hit bad shots and
don’t care, then I’ll be worried about you.”
He pauses. “Like me, you live in Georgia. So you’ve
dealt with the terrible drivers here, right?”
“I have,” I say. “They are the worst.”
“Are you relaxed in traffic?”
“No. I scream at them all.”
“Well then you’re not going to be calm on the golf
course,” he says. “We’re always harder on ourselves than
we are on others.”
After Tattersall and I nail down the date and time for our
Big Day Out, I tell him I’m even more nervous now about
our round than I was before I called. I’m afraid I’m going
to be a maniac. I’m afraid I’m going to tear up the course
and send my clubs sailing into the woods.
“Don’t sweat it,” Tattersall says. “Honestly, let yourself
be loose out there. And remember one of the most
important maxims of golf: Sometimes some golf clubs
just deserve to die.”From Scratch with Will LeitchP
Photo^ illustration:^M
ikel^ JasoWILL LEITCH
IS A COLUMNIST
FOR GOLF, A
CONTRIBUTING
EDITOR AT NEW
YORK MAGAZINE,
AND THE
FOUNDER
OF DEADSPIN.“
You will be
as good as
you are,”
my swing
coach says
about our
upcoming
round. That
sounds to me
like some sort
of Zen koan.It’s (Almost) Showtime
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