Hampshire Life: February 2019 (^) 29
MEON VALLEY MAN
Chris van Schaick is a writing coach and former BBC
journalist with his own unique take on life in Hampshire
@hampshirelife
(u sin g #Meon Man)
T
he idea of renewing
my passport used
to fill me with utter
dread. That form, with
boxes to write your name and
address letter by letter, the ‘e’ of
Hampshire always annoyingly
ending up on its own line. I also
seem to remember the faff of
getting doctors or magistrates
to write their particulars in
tiny writing on the back of the
passport photo.
But I’m delighted to report
that we’re in a new era. I’ve just
renewed my passport online and
it was an utter delight. The photo
was taken by Mrs. v. S. on her
phone. During the shoot, there
was, of course, a good deal of
matrimonial argy-bargy. Some of
it was about how much shirt was
visible in frame. Another strand
of argument was about the best
way to achieve the expressionless
expression that’s required for a
passport photo. But once that
was settled, the application itself
was a breeze. The online form
was clear and simple. I answered
a few questions, uploaded the
photo and my new passport
arrived in nine days.
We moan about new
technology – and there’s plenty
to moan about. But my passport
experience felt like a small tech
payback for some of the on-
screen nonsense that’s part of
everyday life.
The people who did the
work on my new passport are
civil servants in the Home
Office’s Identity and Passport
Service. Folk are quick to
decry public bodies and claim
that outsourcing would be
more efficient. Yet here was
a department of the much-
maligned state doing a totally
efficient job.
Come to think of it, renewing
car tax is also a much happier
experience than a few years ago.
Remember hunting round for
MOT certificates and insurance
documents, then joining the
queue in the post office? The
online method has banished all
that sweaty drama from my life
for good.
And there’s one more thing I’m
enjoying about my screen time:
South Western Railways’ Delay
Repay – a scheme that pays you
back money if your train is late.
Doing the claim online is easy.
No more prizing the required
form from the gnarled grip of
a reluctant ticket clerk. Then
remembering to fill it in and
again finding that the ‘e’ of
Hampshire is on a separate
line. Now it’s all online and
straightforward - with a phone
picture of your ticket easily
uploaded.
During one recent month,
three of my eight trips into
London were late by more than
the payback threshold of 15
minutes. It doesn’t need much
to happen between Wimbledon
and Waterloo for a train to be
that late. So I’ve already been
able to buy Mrs. v.S. a good few
glasses of Picpoul de Pinet in
the White Lion, solely on one
month’s proceeds. It all helped
soothe things down a little after
the querulousness of the passport
photo shoot.
So all in all, I find I’m shouting
at the laptop a lot less at the
moment. But the telly? Well,
that’s a different matter.
Using technology for menial tasks can be
surprisingly rewarding as Chris finds out this month
On good form
ABOVE: Passport
renewals have
entered a new era
Photo: ShaunWilkinson / Getty Images Plus
“The online method
has banished all that
sweaty drama from
my life for good”
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