lives and problems 107
Mary: Yes.Benny: Do you think that because of that God gave you this illness? Th at God
called on you and you did not go.Mary: Yes.Mary later had additional complaints about her family:Benny: What is your problem, Mary? Consider me as a doctor. I am working in a
hospital in Kozhikode. My home is in Arulakam [place names are pseudonyms].
My sister is married to [someone in] Mangalapuram. I am telling you this just
so you know who I am. Mary, what is your problem? Something is worrying you
though you are not showing it on the outside.Mary: Nothing is worrying me.Benny: Nothing is worrying you.Mary: If I get ati [hit/slapped/spanked], I am sad.Benny: From whom? Who will hit you, Mary?Mary: My father, mother and brothers.Benny: Th at may be because you did something.Benny tries to get Mary to confi de in him by revealing who he is. He tells
her where he is from and identifi es the town his sister married into (her hus-
band is from the town and she now lives there with him) which reveals that
Benny is also from a Christian family. Revealing one’s home town and one’s
community ties that develop through marriage are key parts of identifying
oneself, and are usually the fi rst topic of conversation when people in Kerala
are getting to know one another. After urging her to talk about her problems,
Mary reveals her concern about being “hit.” Th e word Mary uses–ati—is hard
to translate and is worthy of some attention since the way it translates has a
variety of implications and raises delicate issues. Ati can mean “hit,” “spank,”
“slap” or “beat,” and the precise meaning depends on context. In this case, ati
refers to something like “spanking,” a way of disciplining children, but in many
cases in Kerala this is done when sons and daughters are older. “Slap” or “hit” is
more appropriate since ati is often a single swat or cuff on the head. Mary may
have actually been beaten or may be traumatized by this hitting/spanking, but