lives and problems 113
Th ree months before we met Abdul-Rahman, he consulted a psychiatrist
near his home town in southern Kerala. Having heard that the doctors are bet-
ter and the treatment free at Trivandrum Medical College, Abdul-Rahman set
out for Trivandrum along with his brother and sister.
When we asked Abdul-Rahman how his problems started, he told us how
eight years ago he left Kerala to work in Mumbai, but he found the experience
lonely and depressing. “Everyone’s life was alone” and “Only friends were there,”
he recalled, lamenting that he and others he met there were living away from
their families and adding that he returned to Kerala because he was homesick.
Biju asked Abdul-Rahman to describe his problems more explicitly, to
depict the emotions and experiences he had undergone, and Abdul-Rahman
elaborated on the pain of being away from home when he worked in the
Persian Gulf. Th e language in the excerpts that follow is occasionally awk-
ward. Th is is partly because of the diffi culty of rendering Malayalam in English
and preserving its style and meaning, but also because Abdul-Rahman had
an elaborate and unusual way of speaking. Also, like other Gulf migrants,
Abdul-Rahman’s English is very good, and his speech was heavily seasoned
with English terms:
Biju: What was your illness like? Were you depressed/sad [vishamam]?Abdul-Rahman: I was sad [vishamam], a sorrow in the mind. So, I wanted to see
everyone, to see everyone from home. It was as if I was alone. Th en, after that, I
went to Bombay again. After that, I got a chance to go to the Gulf. So I went to the
Gulf. I went as a “fabricator,” as a “steel fabricator.” When I got there, I didn’t get
even a chance as a welder. As I had some diffi culties in the company, I was forced
into a bad relation with the “parties” [his employers or the middlemen who got him
the job]. I remained with them only one year. After that, for one year I was with
my elder brother. So, when I departed I was with my elder brother. Th us mentally,
when I remained like that for a long time... I was getting letters and things from
home. Still there were economic diffi culties so I remained there in the hope of
solving economic problems. Th en one day I felt mental sorrow [manassikamāyittu
vishamam tōnni]. I was crying and could not eat. At that time, I felt that I should
simply cry like this, that tears should come to my eyes. When lying down, I would
see nightmares. I woke up startled, and then could not get back to sleep. When
I became restless/worried [veprālamāyittu], I got a ticket to come home and an
“emergency passport” and came home to my native place [nātu].After being home for a few days, I had no illness. Suddenly there was no prob-
lem. Soon after seeing everyone at home, I was able to eat and everything. My
illness was completely changed. After that, now one year later, I again got my
old papers from the agency and resumed my old routine. I did lots of work and