over, has gained significant support among Old Testament commentators. It
was first suggested by Susan T. Foh, “What Is the Woman’s Desire?”
Westminster Theological Journal37 (1975), 376-383. David Talley says the word
is attested in Samaritan and Mishnaic Hebrew “with the meaning urge, crav-
ing, impulse,” and says of Foh, “Her contention that the desire is a contention
for leadership, a negative usage, seems probable for Gen. 3:16” (Talley, in W.
A. VanGemeren, ed., New International Dictionary of Old Testament Theology and
Exegesis,vol. 4 [Grand Rapids, Mich.: Zondervan, 1997], 341, with reference
to various commentators).
- There was a foreshadowing of these New Testament commands in the godly
marriages found in the Old Testament and in the honor given to women in
passages such as Ruth, Esther, and Proverbs 31. But in the unfolding of God’s
plan of redemption, He waited until the New Testament to give the full and
explicit directions for the marriage relationship that we find in Ephesians 5,
Colossians 3, and 1 Peter 3.
- This does not mean that I make every decision in our family. There are large
areas of responsibility in which Margaret makes hundreds of decisions that I
often do not even know about and certainly do not try to micromanage or sec-
ond-guess (for example, with respect to household budgets for food, clothing,
gifts, or other matters, which she controls; and with respect to the decoration
and appearance of our home; and with respect to large sections of time each
week when she has her own activities and I have mine). I think there remains
some element of male headship in those areas in principle, but in practice she
decides these things independently, as I do with respect to allocations of time
and money related to my work. But when I say “the responsibility to make the
decision rests with me,” I am talking about the hundreds of other decisions that
directly affect both of us, especially concerning activities in which we are both
involved.
- For further discussion, see John Piper, “A Vision of Biblical Complementarity:
Manhood and Womanhood Defined According to the Bible,” in Piper and
Grudem, eds., Recovering Biblical Manhood and Womanhood,31-59. See also
Dorothy Patterson, “The High Calling of Wife and Mother in Biblical
Perspective,” 364-377, in the same volume.
- On Galatians 3:28, see Richard W. Hove, Equality in Christ? Galatians 3:28 and
the Gender Dispute(Wheaton, Ill.: Crossway, 1999). On Ephesians 5:21, see
Wayne Grudem, “The Myth of ‘Mutual Submission.’” CBMW News1/4
(October 1996), 1-4. On the meaning of kephal∑,see Wayne Grudem, “The
Meaning ofkefalhv, (‘head’): An Analysis of New Evidence, Real and Alleged,”
Journal of the Evangelical Theological Society(JETS) 44/1 (March 2001), 25-65.
I have also edited a book (a companion volume to this present volume) that
contains more detailed essays on some of these questions: see Wayne Grudem,
ed., Biblical Foundations for Manhood and Womanhood(Wheaton, Ill.: Crossway,
2002), especially the essays by Richard W. Hove, “Does Galatians 3:28 Negate
Gender-Specific Roles?”; Wayne Grudem, “The Myth of Mutual Submission
as an Interpretation of Ephesians 5:21”; Daniel Doriani, “The Historical
The Key Issues in the Manhood-Womanhood Controversy 83
