Australian Yoga Journal — July 2017

48

july 2017

yogajournal.com.au

PHOTOS: JULES CARDILLO

ESCAPE

Om

circle, Gwyn looked around the room,

smiled, and said encouragingly, “You’re

all doing a great job.”

I had been nervous leading up to my

first day of teaching, where I would

share a class themed ‘letting go’ in

Zenthai style. In a last-minute effort to

embody the teachings, I threw away

my notes and showed up, completely

vulnerable, to share the value of

surrender. I left the class feeling light

and confident, happy for the opportunity

to receive feedback, and completely held

and supported in sharing myself more

deeply with my students.

WATER - FLOW ~ CREATIVITY ~

IMAGINATION

As we moved into the water element,

Gwyn invited us to “flow with whatever

life throws at you” as we “uncondition”

ourselves and tune into truth. “If you say

it’s difficult, it is,” he gently reminded

us. I realised I had been internally

moaning about the amount of energy

the process required, like I’d be happier

on the couch eating chips and chocolate.

As I reflected on this I became aware of a

slight pain in my kidney — the organ

associated with the water element.

Interesting.

Two days into the exploration of

water, I was emotionally fragile.

Beginning to miss home and, feeling the

internal growing pains, I felt like I was

taking a journey through the wounds of

my psyche, an uncomfortable step in the

process, but a necessary one for self-

awareness, growth and healing. I was

vulnerable and raw, and needed space

for healing, so I retreated into the

comfort of my room and allowed myself

some space to process as the water

flowed freely, and the emotions washed

over me.

WOOD – VISION ~ DIRECTION ~

GROWTH ~ EXPANSION

By the time we reached the wood

element, we were approaching the

halfway point. I began to feel myself ease

into this new reality. The bodywork was

getting more challenging and the asana

intense, but at the same time it felt like

the hardest part was over and we were

free falling. That night, as I was shaving

my legs, I listened to the sound of the

blades, felt the sensations and noticed

the rhythm of my movements. “Hey,” I

thought to myself, “I’m being present.”

And just like that, it was gone. Like

magic.

FIRE~ CELEBRATING HEARTS

WIDE OPEN

As we all eased into the comfort of our

new community, we were becoming

closer and closer. We sat in circles

singing and hugging, like a scene from

a seventies movie. But it didn’t feel

comical. It felt real, expansive, open,

easy. Like life should be. Everyone was

feeling it. Our collective heart was

cracking wide open and we marinated in

this sometimes joyful, sometimes tender

vulnerability. Acknowledging that

tenderness, Gywn held us in our

rawness, as the self-doubt began to

surface — a result of truly showing up.

“I’m just gonna offer a plate here,” he

soothed, as he encouraged us all to be

ourselves, to work creatively and to love

from the inside out. We had reached

another sticky point of growth, another

step on the path of transformation.

There are moments in life where we

can clearly see a before and an after

version of ourselves. Before our first

relationship and after. Before our first

yoga class and after. Before our first

overseas adventure and after. Before our

first child and after. Zenthai Flow is one

of those moments. It’s not so much a

becoming something new as it is coming

back to the essence of who you truly are.

My mantra became soften, open, let go.

On our final night, I poured my

feelings onto paper.

Tonight it finally happened. I finally

cracked. The tears were pouring out of me.

Uncontrollably. I suddenly felt so

connected to this community. Lately I’ve

lost myself in the turmoil of life, and it’s

stopped me from shining like I used to. But

here I’ve finally felt myself cracking open

and wanting to see and be seen. Tonight,

when I really saw that happening, and saw

that it was over, I just couldn’t stop