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Yoga and MS

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I live my life daily with a diagnosis of MS which

leaves me at times physically exhausted, in pain,

numb, off balance and with memory problems and various

other complaints. Yoga, for me, is the thing that keeps me

strong, supple and grounded. It helps me focus on what I can

do, whilst showing me what my body does not want to do at

other times. My spasms have improved since I started getting

back into it. My balance is always a challenge but I’m getting

stronger in my legs and arms. Most recently, I have started

doing meditation and focusing on my breath. I never really

knew how strong breath work is. It helps me to come back into

my body and stay out of my head, realign my mind, heart and

physical body. Mostly, it teaches me that strength is not just a

physical thing, it comes from an indomitable will (as Gandhiji

would say). And that equips me to deal with my illness, even

when it is very hard and I am worn out.

Kiraya Kaur, Wales

Thanks for your letter, Kiraya. Please check out the Yoga for

MS article inside this issue, on pages 72-73. Don’t forget: World

MS day takes place on May 27 2015. For more information

visit worldmsday.org

Overcoming anorexia

I just wanted to write in to say how much one of your articles

resonated with me (Overcoming anorexia, April 2015). I have been

suffering with anorexia for seven years now and still in and out

of recovery. What has been my net to stop me going all the way

back down the ladder is yoga and my teachers. I found a place

where I can be ‘me’. When I panic, or have a low, all I need to do

is step into a downward dog and suddenly everything becomes

clear again and I can draw myself back to the real me. Nathalie’s

article mentions how the lack of judgement and compassion she

could see from her own yoga teachers helped her move on, and

that is exactly it for me. I have not told any of them about my

past but I am sure they know, and when I first turned up in class,

several pounds skinnier than I am now and very skeletal, not once

did they pass judgement, avoid touching me, or treat me any

differently – enabling me to finally feel like I had found something

worth being me again for. And for that I shall always thank

them. I just hope that if other teachers find themselves teaching

someone clearly with an eating disorder, they understand how

much good they can do just by doing nothing.

Lottie, by email

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“A

himsa,one of the most important yamas or non-harm, is ; it refers not only

self,” said my soon-to-be mentor during my to not harming others but also not harming one’s

first yoga class at popular Cambridge yogastudio, Camyoga. In my down-dog position, tears welled up^

as I gazed upon my emaciated and scarred wrists. I would never hurt a fly, let alone another human being. But at that moment,

I realised that I was a criminal and the victim was myself. I was hurting myself. I had starved, cut, and tried to kill myself. I was

very far from ahimsa.

Nathalie Doswald describes her personal journey back to her ‘self ’

and to wellness through yoga

and off for nearly 20 years. I have been hospitalised many times and had treatment; I had had anorexia and depression on

yet here I was again, dying to be thin. understood. Yet I still felt incredibly gAnorexia is an illness. That was something I uilty when

it dawned on me that harming myself might be just as bad as harming someone else inyogic world. the

I could see in my yoga teacher’s eyes pa balm to my worries; it gave me the courageStill, the lack of judgement and compassion rovided

to start to pull away from this most vicious mental disease.I started my yoga teacher training not long

after that class (even though I felt at the time

that I would never be ‘good enough’ asperson to be a yoga instructor). Throughout that year, long training, an a d

coupled with specific therapy, I finally started to heal in a way I had never before.

Towards recoveryI have had a lot of therapy in the past: Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, Cognitive

Analytical Therapy, and Dialectical Behavioural Therapy just to mention a few. They all gave me greater awareness of my illness and my

mind, as well as ‘tools’ to help me in recovery. learnt to analyse but I never learnt to feel. But I never connected to any of these. I

Blocking or controlling feelings is the main

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Overcoming

anorexia

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reason for an eating disorder. Yet itincreases the suffering. Yoga finally helped me to feel, to connect only

and to transform myself. meditation) taught in classes, helped alThe main yogic building blocks (asana and ong

the way, but only through my connecting to ‘me’ through them. Through yoga – uniHowever, yoga is not something that on.

necessarily ‘happens’ during a class. You have to let it. You have to let go. Working on asanas, I strengthened and

connected to a body that was becoming healthier. This was no easy task. There were times when my body just ached and where

even restorative yoga hurt my malnourishbody. With meditation and mindfulness, I also started to identify and allow feelings, leared ning

that they simply pass if you don’t block them. I also reduced the hold on my mind of nethoughts (or at least learnt I did not have to gative

listen to them). Ancient wisdom

But it was discovering yoga’s ancient tethat guided me successfully towards recoverxts y.

manual. The process of Kriya yoga (describein the Sutras) became my way of challPatanjali’s Yoga Sutras became my senging elf-help d

my illness, of transforming myself, as well as aptly describing how the process felt. I studied my behaviour and sought

knowledge on what was healthy (I made necessary changes to my behaviour and thoughts, a process which was at times svadhyaya).

excruciating – eating and putting onwas to me heartbreaking (I was countering 2years of fears and habits, after all). weight 0

away the old (o f Through each positive change I was burning tapas as ‘burning’ made perfect sense. tapas). To me the translation

And, through it all, after 20 years of needed to have faith (making these painful changes would helpisvara-pranidhanaillness, I ) that and

that, in the end, all would be well.I could only imagine it would feel awI didn’t know how being well would feel. ful, as

that was all that I had experienced, so that was what I believed. Yet I had faith thatwas the right thing to do. I can’t tell you this

how surprised I was when I actually reached recovery and felt (for what seemed like the

“But it was discovering yoga’s ancient texts that guided me successfully towards recovery.

Patanjali’s Yoga Sutras became my self-help manual.”

first time in my life) happy.Upanishads, helped in other ways too.Yoga philosophy, through texts like the

Self-compassionWhere once I believed myself to be unimportant and worthless, I discovered that

our soul (my soul) is perfect, eternal and pure. I learnt self-compassion. As I came more into my own as a teacher,

I realised that the ‘many paths, one truth’ dictum holds true for many things, including bodies, shapes and nutrition.

is good for each of us at any given time. We are all different and we need to do what I started to free myself from the need to do

what I thought others expected of me, from the need to deny who I was (just in case others didn’t like me), from the need to follow only

what others thought. everyone else. I started to allow my ‘self’ to I realised I was ‘good enough’ just like

shine through and guide me to where I wto go. Finally, working with subtle energies, I anted

started to open my heart that had been kept under the wraps of suffering; I allowed myself to breathe through my whole being. I allowed

myself to be. years, I finally came home to me. Yoga is a journey back to the self. After 2 0

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