Yoga_Journal_-_June_2016_

86

june 2016

yogajournal.com

Yoga classes can

provide prime condi-

tions for intimate

relationships

to bloom, thanks

to physical proximity

and a shared trust.

But is it professional

—or ethical—for a

teacher to have

a romantic relation-

ship with a student?

Here, students and

teachers weigh in.

Something on

your mind?

Send us your

questions to start the

discussion at letters@

yogajournal.com

Saying a teacher shouldn’t date his or her student is unrealistic.

If you put people in a room together doing intense physical pos-

tures, there’s a good chance some might get interested in each

other. But students often see only their teacher’s positive aspects,

with few of the flaws. When I dated my yoga teacher and our rela-

tionship ended, I had to face all of the false projections I’d had

of my teacher; it rid me of my fantasies about yoga teachers being

more capable than others of intimacy.

Ellen Boeder

Psychotherapist, Boulder, Colorado

It’s easy to fall

in love with your

yoga teacher.

When a teacher

touches or adjusts

you, you feel com-

forted and cared

for. Two hands on

a back conveying

loving energy can

bring someone

to tears. There’s

a vulnerability

and deep power

within touch, as

well as a hunger

for it, and that

touch can get

sexualized. Teach-

ers need to be

aware of these

undercurrents.

Some yoga teach-

ers can exploit

the power dynam-

ics of being a

teacher to their

advantage. But

if there’s real

chemistry, I don’t

see why a rela-

tionship should

be prohibited.

Cindy Kaplan

Yoga student and

life coach, Newton,

Massachusetts

People fall in love where they

spend their time, and the yoga

studio is no exception. However,

teachers need to be thorough in

examining their motives. Exploit-

ing a power differential is shame-

ful, regardless of the role we find

ourselves in; it’s also shameful to

close yourself off to something

legitimate and wonderful. I met

my wife when she came to an

independent-study class at my

studio. Because of my role as a

teacher, we had many conversa-

tions about dating before we

actually started doing so.

Troy Lucero

Owner of the Acme Yoga Project,

Seattle

If there’s a spark between

a student and teacher, I recom-

mend that the teacher refer that

student to a different teacher’s

class until they determine

whether they are going to be

in a relationship. Once they are

in a committed relationship, the

student can return to the origi-

nal teacher’s classes. This more

discreet approach enables a

teacher to hold clear boundar-

ies in the studio, enabling all

students to feel safe while

deepening their practice.

Rebecca Bell

International teacher and co-founder

of The Yoga Lab, Bend, Oregon

Yoga teachers do a service job that

requires subtle energy. The priority

for instructors is to help students have

their own personal experience of yoga.

If there’s other energy at play, it can

become complicated and confusing.

Remember, there’s a lot of room for

students to be blown away by yoga

and, as a result, to see the teacher in

an elevated light. Yoga can be a very

intimate and deeply connected experi-

ence with unfamiliar people, which

means sensitivity is required.

Quinn Kearney

Co-owner and director of Yogaview, Chicago

CONSIDER THIS

connect

By Elizabeth Marglin

Is it OK for a yoga teacher

to date a student?

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