important to me to be acknowledged, and this gives me even more
energy and enthusiasm. I am really happy to have enhanced your
evening in this way, and look forward to doing so again.’
(Instead of: ‘A pleasure’).
In this way, giving and receiving love can become a positive feedback
loop, the momentum of which can transform previously absorbing
conflicts, and allow these to be communicated in ways that deepen
love and understanding.
And true intimacy comes with having traversed the depths
together. In terms of the meaning, the soul of a relationship, one
that has lasted many years and weathered ups and downs and
where a couple have come together to traverse both beautiful and
challenging life events, holds a quality that is infused with deep
appreciation and a knowing of partnership that extends to the roots.
We can appreciate our journey together as a couple, and value the
return to reconciliation after an argument.
Meditation 2: Heart Talk
Allow 20 minutes per person. You can practice this meditation alone
or with a partner.
Sit comfortably. Partners face each other. Close your eyes. One
of you, place your hands on your chest, on your heart centre, and
close your eyes. Imagine you are welcoming your heart. Imagine that
your heart has its own unique wisdom, and its own quality. Give this
quality a voice by speaking out loud as if you were your own heart.
For example, I would say: “I am Leora’s heart...”. Keep repeating this
phrase, and trust the messages that emerge from your heart. If you
are with a partner, they can ask your heart three or four specific
questions, such as “As Leora’s heart, how is it to be the heart of this
woman? What burdens you? What liberates you? How connected
are you with Leora’s sexuality?” If you are on your own, write these
questions down in advance, and allow your heart to respond to them
one at a time.
Some hearts are not ready to speak in this way. Many people,
in our culture even more so for men, have learned to guard their
hearts. It can take time to open. You can let your heart speak about
how difficult it is for the man or woman of which you (the heart) are
part, to allow you (the heart) space.
Leora Lightwoman is the founder of Diamond Light Tantra
(diamondlighttantra.com)