Darren Mahesh Hayward explains how he came to set up
a new meditation group, All Us Men (or AUM), aimed at
helping men manage difficult emotional times
A
group of men from all walks of life, different ages
and lifestyles, all with one common goal. What is this
goal? The answer is not as straightforward as you may
think (and I always thought of us guys as very black
and white!).
The real answer is that we are a very complex animal and carry
a lot of emotion around not really knowing what to do with it and,
most of all, where or who to show it to.
And so I formed All Us Men, a meditation group that has proved
a wonderful success; it shows why we need to help men to be more
open and to express themselves in a positive and productive manner.Motivations
The number one cause of death in the UK for men between the ages
of 20 and 49 is suicide: this was the statistic that made me realise
that, as a sex, we need help. As I have used meditation for over 20
years I thought this might be a good start. Along with yogic philosophy
and breathing techniques I thought I could maybe help someone.
Yoga is part of who I am as a person, and I would say, along with
the meditation, it has helped me through some difficult chapters
in my life, and continues to do so. With all this in mind, I felt an
overwhelming drive to help my fellow brothers. My first port of call
was the workplace, a cool barbershop just for guys...and when they
are in the barber’s seat they open up to me. So, I started to talk
to them about the stresses of life and how do they cope. To my
surprise, most of them didn’t really know how they dealt with the
challenges modern life throws at them.Meditation group
It was now time to put together another little plan. So, my wife
Bhavani and I hosted a few sessions at home with a few friends to
see how a guided meditation evening would work. And the feedback
was very positive, so I started to talk to guys at work about the
men’s group. All Us Men – or AUM – was born.
Using the teachings of Sri Swami Satchidananda I started to talk
to the men about how we see the world and more importantly how
we impact those around us. Starting each class with three Oms and
then using breath control to centre ourselves, the hour-long classesAll us men
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seem to flow very well. Talking about expectations, love, wellness,
and attachment, the class seemed to grow in numbers and energy,
and went from fortnightly meetings to weekly.
Guided meditation in the Yoga Nidra posture seems to be the
most beneficial and powerful way to connect with the men, and for
each of them to connect with themselves, which is the whole point.
My goal is for these men to learn to live in their heart space and
connect with their true self, and in turn, become tuned in to the
needs of other people around them, whether that’s family, friends or
work colleagues.Powerful minds
The powerful mind can be a tool for such amazing things, but it can
also be the most destructive. Therefore we all need a safe space.
AUM is that space, where a man can give himself one hour to clear his
thoughts, reboot and wipe the slate clean ready to start a new week.
And so, each Sunday, we now meet at 7.30pm, so it won’t impact on
family time and guys can start the week with a fresh approach.
The goal is simple: learn to sit, breathe and allow your heart to
take control of you.
The men in my group all say a similar thing, that it’s nice to sit with
other men and just be yourself, your ‘real’ self. And, after all, that’s
what we all really want, isn’t it?All Us Men runs meditation groups at The Amethyst Cave in
Southbourne, Dorset.
Discover more: @all_us_men (Instagram) and All Us Men (Facebook)