Kids in Crisis 83
what more reserved psychologically speaking and tend to hold
back from relationships in general. Many of these young men
seem worried that they won’t find true love. Some seem to be
disproportionately likely to commit too rapidly to the first serious
relationship they stumble across—preferably one that gives high
priority to issues such as trust and fidelity.
Girls
Before I got married I had six theories about bringing up children; now I have
six children, and no theories.
—John Wilmot, Earl of Rochester
Girls seem to fare much better psychologically during the period
immediately following their parents’ divorce than do boys. In
fact, much of the research about the effects of divorce on chil-
dren points out the relatively good recovery of girls as compared
with the more troubled experiences faced by the boys. Boys gen-
erally appear to suffer more from divorce, especially initially,
although the risk factors and negative impacts seem to equalize
more over the long term. In general, daughters appear to better
adjust socially, academically, and emotionally following divorce
than do their brothers.
This is not to say that girls don’t encounter some serious prob-
lems of their own. One peculiar but predictable twist in the rela-
tionship between single mothers and their daughters can occur
when the daughter begins to feel a sense of responsibility for
looking after her mom. At this juncture, a young girl will often
develop advanced homemaking skills and take on other “super-
womanly” responsibilities far beyond her years. Later, however,
this can become problematic, since the already difficult period
when a young girl must finally leave home can become even
more wrenching if an extreme degree of closeness has developed
between the mother and the daughter.
Can girls cope? Daughters of divorce, particularly in a situation
where they watch their faithful, devoted homemaker mother face
the ultimate rejection of divorce by their father, can develop some
very dramatic reactions. These can range across the board from