Kids in Crisis 93
fear of rejection or low self-esteem. A twenty-year-old girl may be
totally unable to feel secure in planning for her future.
One of the primary causes of this malaise seems to stem from
the fact that these young adults have lost contact with their fathers
at just the developmental stage when they may have needed them
most. They may have needed dad to serve as a role model or men-
tor in helping them take charge of some of the practical sides of
their lives.
Many psychological studies indicate that girls have an espe-
cially strong need for support and reinforcement from their fathers
during their early adolescence—around ages thirteen to sixteen.
The need for boys to feel close to a father figure seems to come
more strongly into play in their later teens. For both boys and
girls, however, the increasing need for involvement with their
fathers seems to rise dramatically during the adolescent and post-
adolescent periods.
“Manly” models. Boys need male role models from whom they
derive traditionally male management and organizational skills
and the sense of teamwork and male bonding. All these are often
derived from team sports or from the boardroom culture of busi-
ness and from male mentors: coaches, bosses, and fathers.
As kids from divorced families approach entrance to college,
they encounter the serious problems of having their psychological
and financial support cut out from underneath them. Although
most child-support agreements contemplate various approaches
to maintaining support through age twenty-three for any child
who remains a full-time student, there does seem to be something
of a psychological barrier about an age eighteen cutoff date in the
minds of noncustodial fathers.
Arbitrary emancipation at eighteen. All of a sudden the child hits
the age of majority, and noncustodial parents may arbitrarily
decide that childhood is officially over. The divorced, and often
noncustodial, dad then either reduces his financial support or
terminates it altogether. Often, even the parent’s personal support
stops abruptly at that point as well.
This situation is quite unlike intact nuclear families, where kids
generally get a good deal more slack, with both parents remaining