120 DIVorCe wItH DeCenCY
especially nasty. Spouses have been known to snatch kids, physi-
cally beat each other, and cut one another off financially. Even if
there isn’t any physical abuse involved, the emotional and men-
tal abuse can make it intolerable to continue to live under the
same roof.
The period surrounding the initiation of the divorce action
itself is one of the trickier ones we face as divorce lawyers. Initial
or emergency issues requiring expedited temporary relief are
handled in Hawai‘i by way of motions for pre-decree relief fol-
lowed by a hearing at which some sort of order for tempo-
rary relief is generally issued. Other states have similar proce-
dures; although they may be titled differently, the concept is
the same.
The initial documents filed in a divorce case will often focus
on these temporary relief issues. These documents (called “plead-
ings”) have to be very specifically directed toward only the most
urgent or emergency issues in the case. At this initial temporary
relief hearing stage the court will generally refuse to make final
determinations regarding custody, support, or property settle-
ment. All these must wait until the time of the final settlement
or trial.
Temporary relief orders—the key issues. What the court will decide
at the early stage of a case are those key initial issues that must be
immediately resolved in order to avoid all hell breaking loose. For
example, somebody must take temporary custody of the kids; or,
if the parties are really fighting with one another, one spouse may
be allowed sole occupancy of the marital residence and the other
party forced to vacate; or perhaps some restraining orders need
to be put into place to prevent squandering of financial assets or
to restrain the parties from physically coming near one another
in order to avoid violence.
Immediate temporary custody, temporary child support, ali-
mony, interim occupancy of the marital residence, visitation
schedules, advances on attorneys’ fees or other payments—all
these issues are available on this temporary relief hearing calen-
dar. Furthermore, they are available fast. Judges will often hear
the temporary relief issues on a case within just a few weeks of