The Legal Issues 131
Bank and Other Accounts
Marriage is a bribe to make a housekeeper think she’s a householder.
—Thornton Wilder
As discussed previously, one can generally anticipate a basically
half-half division of all bank, stock, and other accounts that were
accrued during the marriage. Furthermore, this remains true
regardless of whether the accounts are titled in joint or separate
names. Since these are often the couple’s most liquid assets, they
are often ideal for offsetting other marital property interests.
Debts
Love is an ocean of emotions entirely surrounded by expenses.
—Lord Dewar
If there are bills owed by you and your spouse that were accu-
mulated during your marriage, then they will have to be valued
and divided along with the rest of the marital property. The divi-
sion will usually be half-half. Some modifications may be made
for post-separation debts incurred by one party, or for what I
call the “drugs, sex, and rock ’n’ roll” exception, i.e., where one
party totally squanders marital funds on purely hedonistic pur-
suits. The husband who takes his new girlfriend to Las Vegas,
for example, and buys her champagne and diamonds—all on his
family’s Visa card—may well expect to get those debts allocated
solely to him. Normal cost-of-living expenditures, however, still
get divided half-half, even if one spends more than the other.
Court orders and/or agreements between the spouses regard-
ing who is to pay what bills do not in any way affect the peo-
ple you owe. If you owed a legal credit card debt to Visa (either
jointly or separately) before the divorce, and if your spouse either
agrees, or is ordered, to pay that particular Visa bill, but then
doesn’t actually follow through to pay it, then you still owe Visa
the money. In this sort of situation, Visa or other creditors can
come after you to repossess the asset and obtain judgments or
garnishments against your wages. Your delinquent spouse may