134 DIVorCe wItH DeCenCY
that people often have on this issue is that the person who “done
wrong” is somehow magically going to be held responsible for
the payment of all attorneys’ fees for both sides (including having
to reimburse the more innocent spouse for theirs). Unfortunately,
this is not the way it generally works. As a starting point, it is
assumed that each party is to pay for their own attorney’s fees.
My office must get two or three calls a day from prospective
clients who say, “Well, I don’t have any money, but I want to hire
you and I want you to get your fees from my husband.” Unfortu-
nately, I would be even skinnier and more poorly dressed than I
already am if I were to run my law firm based on that approach.
One would go broke as a divorce lawyer waiting for the other
side to be so thrilled about the divorce that they’d rush to pay
your fees.
The basic approach nowadays is that everybody pays their
own attorney’s fees up front. Occasionally, the judge will invoke
the equitable distribution concept to even things out with an
award of attorney’s fees—but this almost always comes (if at all)
at the very end of the case. This situation presents a very serious
practical problem for the person (usually the wife) who cannot
afford to put up enough money in advance to get decent legal
representation.
How can I hire an attorney when my husband has all the money? A
wife in this situation has got a real practical problem on her hands.
She may eventually be entitled to get money out of her husband
for her property settlement and/or attorney’s fees—but the key
word here is eventually. Meanwhile, very few attorneys, and even
fewer of the good ones, are going to start work for a client based
on the hope that they might ultimately get paid. Oftentimes this
turns into an outright sexist power imbalance situation because
the guys have frequently been the ones in control of the finances
during the marriage.
If the husband moves quickly, he can shut down any joint
accounts and literally leave his wife penniless—unless she hap-
pens to have her own separate accounts. Then a vicious circle
sets in if the wife doesn’t have any money to retain an attorney.
Without an attorney, she isn’t likely to be able to even file for any
temporary support, so she readily becomes even more broke. Nor