148 DIVorCe wItH DeCenCY
joint custody formats, and those may be the same sorts of adap-
tive skills that will be required for the rapidly changing world in
which we all now live.
For children ages six to ten who are in elementary school, joint
physical custody seems to be a particularly workable approach.
Kids at this age seem to be just malleable enough to make it work,
and many of them seem to prefer it. Joint physical custody may
also work out well for teens, many of whom can handle their
own transportation logistics between households. Figuring out
just how flexible any given child seems to be is the key to deter-
mining how workable joint custody will be for that child.
Joint custody seems to have a particularly beneficial impact
insofar as getting fathers to feel more involved with their kids
and the parenting process. The joint custody movement has really
sprung up and expanded nationwide over only about the last
couple of decades. It is now either accepted as an option, or spe-
cifically encouraged, in over thirty states. Since it is a relatively
new phenomenon, follow-up studies are still being conducted so
as to gauge just how well it works for kids over the long term.
Joint physical custody is often extremely difficult to implement
and obviously requires maximum ongoing and mature commu-
nication and cooperation between the divorcing parents even
during the years following their divorces. Joint physical custody
probably won’t work for parents who can’t solve financial or
scheduling issues, or who cannot communicate effectively with
one another. When handled correctly, however, I’ve seen joint
physical custody produce some remarkably successful results.
Sole vs. joint custody: advantages and disadvantages. Here is a recap
of some of the pro arguments for joint custody: (1) Increased flex-
ibility for parents to rearrange custody and parenting issues them-
selves, without always having to return to court. (2) A more equal
sharing of the emotional, logistical, and financial burdens of child-
rearing. (3) Minimizes the problem of a child’s divided loyalties
between the parents. (4) A viable option if, but only if, the parents
still have an amicable relationship, communicate well (and often)
with one another, and live near each other. (5) Works well for
older children (between six to eighteen years) who are easy-going
and malleable enough to go with the flow as they move from one
parent to the other.