164 DIVorCe wItH DeCenCY
Prenuptials are also popular among people who have been
divorced a time or two and have been through the wars with the
divorce lawyers and their attendant fees. Frankly, they don’t want
to see us ever again.
I can envision the pre-wedding checklist for the brides and
grooms of the future: (1) tailor—ushers’ tuxedos; (2) florist—three
dozen table centerpieces; (3) caterer—dinner for 200; (4) attor-
ney—one premarital agreement!
Spouse Abuse and Domestic Violence
Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.
—Phyllis Diller
Spouse abuse is probably the single most incendiary issue at the
forefront of family law today. The statistics on domestic violence
are glaring and appalling—and much higher than anybody ever
thought they were just a few short years ago. A seemingly incon-
trovertible body of evidence has now emerged to indicate that
physical violence plays a part in a far higher percentage of spou-
sal disputes and marital breakups than even many experts had
previously believed.
This issue has probably been there all along, but apparently in
the past couples often kept it buried as an unmentionable part of
their relationships. Women in particular were notoriously reluc-
tant to report domestic violence. Now, if anything, the pendulum
has swung the other way. Women are encouraged to report the
very first signs of violence. Furthermore, myriad new govern-
ment agencies, women’s support groups, and community crisis
centers are now available to turn to.
Shocking statistics on spouse abuse. The sheer numbers are stag-
gering. Somewhere between three to four million women each
year are the victims of domestic violence right in their own homes.
Physicians now warn that domestic violence poses the largest sin-
gle threat of injury to adult women in this country (i.e., more than
cancer, heart disease, etc.). One-third of all female murder vic-
tims are killed by their boyfriends or husbands. During the 1990s,
somewhere in the range of twenty to thirty thousand domestic