178 DIVorCe wItH DeCenCY
dad have it over the phone. Bad call. Dad also happened to be a
cop, and was happy to press the “record” button on his answer-
ing machine. A one-minute audiotape ruined thirteen years of
custody.
Result: Judgment for Bob. Daughter Nadine, who had lived
thirteen years solely in Nancy’s care, was forcibly turned over to
Bob within a week of the court’s order. Nadine attempted suicide
and was admitted to a psych ward. Nancy has not been heard
from since the trial.
Lessons learned:
(1) A lifetime of doing “right” can be ruined by a single moment of
weakness during which you do “wrong” (especially if it gets recorded
on tape, voicemail, e-mail, video, etc.). (2) Voicemail/e-mail can be
very, very bad/dangerous—since small snippets of comments/words
can be taken out of context. (3) Make sure to tell your attorney if you
have any skeletons in your closet that could negatively impact your
case. It is best to come totally clean early and allow your attorney the
opportunity to do damage control/motions to limit evidence, etc.,
rather than face nasty surprises during trial.
— Contributed by associate attorney Christopher D. Thomas,
Coates & FreyDivorce and Rape
As a divorce lawyer, I am always cognizant of the possibility that
my client may become the victim of the other spouse’s temper.
One typically dangerous juncture is when a hot-tempered spouse
is first served with the initial complaint for divorce. Another dan-
ger point is right at the end of a case, following the final trial—
particularly if the judge has ruled against the other side.
The courts, as well as numerous public and private agencies,
are geared up to provide ready assistance at these junctures—such
as obtaining restraining orders, providing temporary shelters in
order to avoid explosive confrontations, etc. Usually, however,
once the shock of the divorce action is over, and the final decree
of divorce has been signed, enough of a catharsis has occurred
that the threat then subsides—usually.