234 DIVorCe wItH DeCenCY
difficult. The conservative’s contention is that the law’s tendency
to move for a quick resolution in divorce cases penalizes the part-
ner who is unprepared to end the marriage.
“It’s generally true that the party who initiates the divorce gets
a better deal,” says attorney Raoul Felder. “That’s because the
person who does the leaving is also the one who has done all
the legal planning.”
A departing husband often has access to more skillful legal
representation than does his spouse. “The legal deck is stacked
against the woman,” says attorney Michael Kennedy. “The man
generally has control of the money because he is usually the one
earning most of it.”
Should society try to rein in the divorce dogs? Those who feel that
America is leading the way to oblivion by unleashing the divorce
dogs to the degree we have can perhaps derive some support for
their views from the writings of anthropologist Margaret Mead,
who observed:
There is not a single society anywhere in the world where people
have voluntarily chosen to remain married simply of their own
accord. Rather, continuing viability of the marital institution almost
inevitably depends upon the extent that the surrounding community
or society applies tremendous amounts of pressure on its citizenry
to remain married in order that the family structure can continue to
remain as a primary solidifying force for that society.John Naisbitt crystallizes the debate still further when he writes
in Megatrends:
For the past two decades, doomsayers and thoughtful observers alike
could make a pretty good case that the family was disintegrating and
that society was the worse for it. When the family is in trouble, the
children suffer most, robbed of love, emotional security, values, role
models. Some have offered their ideas. The right argues that the only
hope is putting women back in the home where they belong. The left
says it is government’s responsibility to provide free daycare.In my opinion, Mary Jean Hall, president of Parent Action,
seems to have one of the clearer visions as to just how complex