12 DIVorCe wItH DeCenCY
number of households with unmarried adults and no kids has
doubled within the last twenty-five years.
Experts estimate that cohabitation now precedes at least half
of all marriages. Up until the mid-’70s, this figure was only about
10 percent. Yet living together before marriage doesn’t seem to
make for better marriages and may, in fact, increase the chance
of divorce.
A semblance of stability may be in sight. In spite of all these neg-
atives, according to a recent report released by the Population
Reference Bureau, the American family appears to be stabilizing
a bit after more than three decades of turbulence. The divorce rate
has leveled off and the rate of out-of-wedlock births is slowing.
The primary reason behind all this somewhat surprising surge in
stability appears to be the aging of the baby boom generation.
The baby boomers have now passed at least the first of those
stages of life where the odds of getting divorced are greatest.
Also, because young people today are waiting until they are
somewhat older (and presumably more mature) before getting
married, marriages may be more selective now than in the past,
thereby making the risk of divorce lower. Whatever the reasons,
the Population Reference Bureau reported that the divorce rate
remained pretty stable throughout the 1990s.
Some Scary and Saddening Statistics
Whoever thinks marriage is a fifty-fifty proposition doesn’t know the half of it.
—Anonymous
Most of the following information is comprised of real data
researched by real statisticians. Let me preface it, however, by
offering some slightly less scientific personal observations I have
made based on my own law firm’s cases.
In only about 20 percent of our office’s cases do the parties
simultaneously conclude that they both want the divorce. In
about 40 percent of our cases, I would characterize the second
(or responding) party as being somewhat less than thrilled about
the divorce, but at least willing to accept it (usually in order to