The Dynamics of Divorce 45
Awareness of Abuse
It takes two to make a marriage a success and only one a failure.
—Lord Samuel
I would estimate that nearly one-third of my law firm’s divorce
caseload involves some form of either interspousal or intrafamily
violence. This may even be on the low side, since my firm’s clien-
tele is somewhat upscale and thus is probably a bit less prone to
outright physical violence. I have heard figures closer to one-half
so far as the general populace is concerned.
One sad outgrowth of the period surrounding marital sepa-
rations is the propensity for physical violence that accompanies
it. Husbands and wives who have never in their lives hit one
another can suddenly find themselves pounding away at each
other in furious physical outbursts.
“Hurtful” statistics. The American Medical Association and the
U.S. Surgeon General have declared that violent men now consti-
tute a major threat to women’s health in our country. The National
League of Cities estimates that as many as half of all women will
experience violence at some time during their marriage. The FBI
reports that an estimated ten million American women are battered
every year. That’s one every fifteen seconds. Between 30 and 35
percent of all visits by females to emergency rooms are for injuries
from domestic assaults. Forty-two percent of murdered women in
the United States are killed by current or former partners.
Ironically, although men are unquestionably the culprits in most
spousal violence, the statistics even out a bit when it comes to
fatal cases. Half of all spousal murders are committed by wives—
a figure that has remained surprisingly stable over time.
The really terrible part of the abuse and violence cycle in rela-
tionships is the incredible statistical likelihood that a child who
witnesses abuse while growing up will tend to mimic that sort
of abusive behavior in later life—including entering into abusive
relationships of their own. In a home where one parent is violent
toward the other, the children are 50 percent more likely to be
abused themselves. The vicious cycle continues when 40 to 50
percent of those children who were exposed to family violence