The Dynamics of Divorce 47
morning. A man’s testosterone is highest at sunrise—up to twice as
high as at any other time in the day. A man’s testosterone is 30
percent lower in the evening.
Sex is definitely an important aspect of relationships for males.
Marriage counselors routinely report that if they can successfully
“fix” the sexual problems for their couples clients, they can often
bring at least the husband back into the fold. Sex is probably also
healthy for males from a purely physical standpoint. Studies have
shown that men who have regular orgasms have up to 50 percent
lower rates of prostate cancer. (How’s that for a motivator?)
Meanwhile, women can ponder the immortal words of Pent-
house magazine publisher Bob Guccione who (not totally sur-
prisingly) contends: “for a man, sex is the single most important
thing in the world.” Surveys have shown that men dream about
sex more often than do women and that men dream of multiple
partners twice as often as women do. So gals, if you may have
come to think that sex isn’t all that important a factor in keeping
your guy happy and your marriage intact... you may want to
think again.
Cindy Meston and David Buss conducted a study published
in the Archives of Sexual Behavior that concluded that there are
237 reasons that motivate people to have sex. Since we haven’t
got room to list all 237, let’s scale these findings down to just the
top ten reasons for both men and women (“Late Night” style, if
you will).
We find that the Top Eight Reasons for having sex are virtually
identical for both genders. These are: (1) I was attracted to the per-
son. (2) It feels good. (3) I wanted to experience physical pleasure.
(4) It’s fun. (5) I wanted to show my affection to the person. (6) I
was sexually aroused and wanted the release. (7) I was “horny.”
(8) I wanted to express my love for the person.
The order of priority of these Top Eight reasons were slightly
different for men than for women, but the reasons themselves
were virtually identical. The interesting (and telling) key differ-
ences came in items number 9 and 10, which for men were: (9)
I wanted to achieve orgasm. (10) I wanted to please my partner.
For women, on the other hand, they were: (9) I realized I was in
love. (10) I was in the heat of the moment.