The Dynamics of Divorce 49
engage in, an adulterous affair; (6) Republicans are more sexually
active than Democrats (for whatever that’s worth!); and finally,
(7) the sexiest area in the United States in terms of both activity
and behavior is the Pacific region, whereas the Northeast came
in dead last in sexuality.
Stories and studies abound about the notorious drop off in cou-
ples’ sexuality quotients and frequency following the birth of their
child(ren). (Some cynics would say that this follows the marriage
itself.) Not only are the overloaded logistical scheduling and the
lack of physical privacy and quality “downtime” together daunt-
ing for many new parent couples, but natural biological shifts
occur. Studies have shown that a man’s testosterone level actually
drops after he has settled down to marriage, his wife’s pregnancy
and a pending family. Nature seems to have designed both men
and women to become biologically prepared for parenthood. In
one study, the very act of having men hold baby dolls lowered
their testosterone. All of which may be great for a couple’s parent-
ing skills regarding their kids... but probably not great for their
sex life (and, perhaps by extension, their marriage).
Affairs and their aftermath. Most married couples claim to believe
in the value of monogamy, but a sizable number of married men
and women stray from the fold. In many ways it seems as though
America is obsessed with extramarital sex. Various estimates,
including those of Masters and Johnson, suggest that anywhere
from 26 percent to 66 percent of married American men, and 18
percent to 69 percent of married American women, have had
extramarital affairs. The wide ranges in these figures alone would
seem to indicate that lots of folks are at least thinking about it,
though perhaps not admitting it.
Various other imprecise estimates abound: (1) The Kinsey Report
estimated that 33 percent of divorces have an infidelity component.
(2) Author Susan Barash in her book, A Passion for More, skews
much higher when she estimates that 60 percent of all American
women will have an affair during their marriage. (3) Playboy mag-
azine attempts to break it down by year. They estimate the odds
that a married woman will have an affair at one in eight before
two years of marriage; one in five thereafter. Meanwhile, they rate
the odds that a married man will have an affair before two years