64 DIVorCe wItH DeCenCY
the primary sources of attraction, at least initially, are between
men and women. Although it is probably too politically incorrect
to admit it in “official” studies, a majority of men have consis-
tently responded to confidential surveys by conceding that the
first thing which initially attracts him to a woman is her beauty
and physical appearance. Female breasts in particular are appar-
ently a specific primary draw. Men prefer women with large
breasts and low waist-to-hip ratios, both of which are seen as
indicators of fertility. This is presumably good news for younger
women. (Conversely, women are apparently biologically driven
to gravitate toward men with muscular shoulders, a broad chest,
a full beard and deeper voices... all of which they see as signs of
high testosterone and virility.)
Meanwhile, a smaller, but still substantial, plurality of women
when queried “off the record” will admit that a primary (if not
the primary) thing that may attract them to a man (again, at least
initially) is the aura of wealth, power and success. This is presum-
ably good news for older, more-established men.
Undoubtedly, many members of both genders do function on
loftier levels and seek more serious and substantial qualities in
their mates. Thus, it obviously represents a gross (literally) over-
generalization to say that “men want beauty, and women want
bucks” and I certainly don’t want to be cast as a chauvinist pig
here, but I am simply reporting to my readers what respondents
to these confidential surveys themselves report.
In any event, when they do remarry, these young women often
have a much better idea as to what they are looking for—and it
often represents a vast improvement over their first choice. No
more is there a desperate marriage to their first high school boy-
friend; rather, there is an upwardly mobile marriage to one of
their superiors at work, or to a successful professional in some
field related to their new employment. Statistics indicate that the
vast majority of these young women remarry—most often within
the first five years or so following their divorce.
Lately, I have observed a growing trend in which women in
the late thirties to early forties age group seem to be leaving their
husbands in droves. These women seem to instinctively sense
that their youth is somehow fading and to be viewing this as their