Finally, she ends her praise with, “He is altogether lovely. This is
my lover, this is my friend, O daughters of Jerusalem.” With this tri-
umphant declaration she invites the daughters of Jerusalem and all
who read her words to agree with her. She is unconcerned that any
might dare to dissent, for who would argue? This is how she feels!
Nay-sayers may criticize her objectivity or precision, but even as they
do they will envy the depth of love she enjoys and will find them-
selves, by contrast, far poorer than this blessed woman and her lover.
How my wife describes me bears little or no resemblance to how
my male friends describe me. (Just one example: After teaching on
this material in the church recently, a fellow pastor walked up to me
after the message, glanced at my bald pate, and said, “Your head
reminds me of the Jefferson Memorial.”) And of course, it would be
highly inappropriate for anyone but me to describe my wife using the
kind of terms I would employ when declaring my love for her and
reminding her of the effect she has on me.
The Song of Songs is a book about romance, and romance begins
with carefully composed words of an emotional and erotic nature.
How often in the past month has communication such as we find in
Solomon’s Song taken place between you and your spouse? What are
the hindrances? What are the heart issues? What changes can you
make this week to begin cultivating and expressing your passion for
your spouse?
CREATIVEHARMONY: THECONTEXT FORROMANCE
Last year, Carolyn and I celebrated our twenty-fifth wedding anniver-
sary, and for that quarter-century it has been rare for us not to have a
weekly date night. But I can assure you that the consistent cultivation
of romance in our marriage has been far from an effortless process.
Romance must be diligently cultivated, lest it become routine.
The wonderful security that comes from a context of covenant com-
mitment is no excuse for the absence of romance. We should consis-
tently express our passion for our spouse in a variety of creative ways.
Date nights and other creative forms of romancing don’t happen by
themselves. They require regular, diligent, creative attention.
122 BUILDINGSTRONGFAMILIES