The only way to develop assets is to have relationships, kids talking
with older folks and older folks talking with kids.”^1 Draayer made me
feel good, because the TALKS (Transferring A Little Knowledge
Systematically) mentoring approach and curriculum is just that: a
systemized way for adults to connect and share wisdom with young
people.
As a parent and youth worker, I am surrounded by kids. At times
I forget that my experience is not the norm. Many adults have little to
no interaction with young boys and girls. A man may take a boy out
for pizza, to a baseball game, or just to hang out, but he probably won’t
do it on a regular basis—systematically. Our society has a television
mentality where everything is resolved in a half-hour minus com-
mercials, but the solutions we need to youth problems will not hap-
pen overnight. Nothing will change the negative direction that many
of our young people are going in until we get adults and kids around
the table for the purpose of regular, meaningful dialogue. This is the
focus of the TALKS curriculum and approach.
This is the thesis statements for TALKS:
Every boy needs a man in his face who will challenge him with
wisdom regarding the critical issues and decisions in his life.Every girl needs a woman in her world who will challenge her
with wisdom regarding the critical issues and decisions in her life.I often encounter middle school boys who think they know more
than I do. I love to sit them down, let them make their statements, and
then very methodically take the legs out from under their arguments.
Often they have nothing more to say. They are not accustomed to hav-
ing a man bump heads with them intellectually, particularly if they
have been raised by a mother or grandmother. In a society where
youth are not regularly exposed to the wisdom of more experienced
adults, young people as they make decisions must pull from their own
knowledge and limited experience. Americans don’t have rites of pas-
sage in the same sense that other cultures do. We just let kids grow up.
Without a network of caring adults in their lives, or even one mean-
162 BUILDINGSTRONGFAMILIES