to yourself, coordinating with the outbreath if
you like:
- All beings like yourself are responsible for
their own actions. - Suffering or happiness is created through
one’s relationship to experience, not by
experience itself. - Although I wish only the best for you,
I know that your happiness or unhappiness
depends on your actions, not on my wishes for
you. May you not be caught in reactivity.
Feel free to use other similar phrases
of your own devising. After a few minutes,
shift your attention to your benefactors,
including teachers, friends, family, and
the unseen workers who keep the societal
infrastructure working. Silently repeat the
phrases to yourself as you contemplate these
benefactors.
After several minutes, begin to reflect on
your loved ones, directing the phrases to them,
and then to the difficult people in your life.
Although feeling kindness, compassion, and
joy for those we love comes more easily than
it does for those with whom we have difficulty,
it is often the opposite with equanimity. It’s a
lot easier to accept that those we dislike are
responsible for their own happiness than it is for
those we care for deeply, because we feel more
attachment to them.
Whatever your experience, simply note
any reactivity, and see if you can be equanimous
with your reactivity! Broaden your reach after a
few minutes to include all beings everywhere
throughout the world, and then finally
contemplate equanimity in regard to yourself,
noticing how taking responsibility for your own
happiness and unhappiness can feel the most
difficult of all. Repeat these phrases to yourself:- All beings, including myself, are responsible
for our own actions. - Suffering or happiness is created through
one’s relationship to experience, not by
experience itself. - Although I wish only the best for myself,
I know that my happiness or unhappiness
depends on my actions, not my wishes for
myself. May I not be caught in reactivity.
When you cultivate the other three
brahmaviharas: metta (the friendly quality of kind
regard), karuna (the compassionate response
to the suffering of others), and mudita (the
delight in the happiness and success of others),
it is equanimity that will ultimately allow you to
truly expand your capacity to experience this
kind of boundless love for those beyond your
immediate circle of friends and family, opening
to the infinite capacity of your heart to embrace
all beings.Frank Jude Boccio is a teacher of yoga and Zen
Buddhism and the author of Mindfulness Yoga.
Find him at mindfulnessyoga.net.