R: There is a feeling of relationship when there is a movement towards
something.
K: If both of us are moving towards an ideal, going together to a point, is that
relationship? Can there be relationship when each one is in isolation?
SW: The first question you asked was: Can there be relationship if there is a
centre?
K: If I have built a wall of resistance, of self-protection around myself
consciously or unconsciously, in order not to get hurt, in order to be safe, is there
any relationship at all? Do look at this. I am afraid because I have been hurt
physically as well as psychologically; my whole being is wounded, and I do not
want to be wounded any more. So I build a wall of resistance, of defence, of ‘I
know-you don’t know’ around myself, to feel completely safe from further hurt.
Having done that, what is my relationship with you?
A: What do you mean by relationship in our daily life?
K: Why do you ask me? Look at yourself. What takes place in your normal daily
life? You go to the office; you are bullied, insulted by someone at the top; with
your wounded pride you come home; your wife nags you; you withdraw further
but yet you sleep with her. Have you any relationship?
A: That means that when there is a centre there is no relationship.
R: But there is ordinary goodwill.
K: Is there goodwill if I live within an enclosure, within this wall of resistance?
What is my goodwill towards you then? I am polite but I keep my distance; I am
always behind my wall.
SW: Even in the life of an ordinary man there are some relationships which are
not always from behind a wall.
A: You say that there is no relationship; but the fact is that in life we are
committed to one another; we do not act on the basis of self-interest alone.
K: You say that you are acting in the interest of the other; is that really so? I
follow the leader who hopes to revolutionize society inwardly and outwardly; I
follow him and I obey; I commit myself to a course of action that both my leader
and I have agreed to. Is there a relationship between me and the leader who is
working for the same end? Relationship means ‘to be in contact with; to be in
close proximity to’.
A: The basis of this relationship is utility.