OM Yoga Magazine – July 2018

om family

I

have witnessed and received enough negative parenting to

know that it serves no one. I read an article yesterday where

a mother shared how she told her teenage son that she

hates him. She said she heard it come out of her mouth, and

instantly regretted it. The damage had been done. The reality

is that situations can bring us to our knees, with the exhaustion

feeding our reaction from a dark place of imbalance, anger and

frustration. Sadly, when we react from this place, it is not only words

that are received. These are combined with our body language, facial

expression and tone of voice to create an even more powerful and

deeply felt message. Indeed, the damage in that moment is well and

truly done.

Our role as parents is to be there for our children, to comfort

them, support them and get them through life. Life experience and

wisdom allows us the means to do this in various ways, sometimes

subtle and other times more obvious. The best tool we can use is

positivity. Understand that your negative attitude to your children

feeds their insecurity, confirms their lack of self worth and damages

their growing neural pathways. It is not an acceptable option, but

one that can arise when we least expect it.

So how do we manage to support ourselves in moments where we

are not on good form, yet have to be present and positive for our

young ones? I don’t think there is a simple answer to that but I do

feel that it takes time and a willingness to learn. When we attempt

to be awake in our parenting, we are choosing to be open, flexible

and loving. We have to work at it, until it becomes second nature.

Each moment and challenge can be seen as an opportunity to

move closer to a positive approach. When things get challenging,

it is helpful to take a moment to breathe and consider the next

step. Learn to respond instead of react. Let’s look at some possible

choices we could make to support the process:

I choose to come from a place of love instead of fear.

I choose to see your light even in the darkness.

I choose to take care of myself so that I can take care of you.

I choose to be open to the lessons I will learn while parenting you.

I choose to create enough space for both of us to grow.

I choose to create positive parenting patterns that support your

growth and let go of the negative ones that don’t serve us.

I choose to love you deeply and completely.

No matter how hard it is to remain positive, I believe that making

a conscious choice in a heated moment will bring us closer to

ourselves, and therefore closer to a good outcome. Positive

parenting has the power to heal all of us, seven generations past

and seven generations in the future. By being committed to this

path, we will strengthen our children’s spirits and encourage healthy

relationships with them. There will be mutual respect, positive

communication and growth to be enjoyed by all. So, get out there,

take a deep breath and put on your brightest smile. Your family are

ready to receive you.

Siri Arti is the founder of Starchild Yoga, which runs teacher trainings

and workshops in the UK and overseas (starchildyoga.org)

Affirmations to support your journey

to become more positive as parents.

By Siri Arti

yogabliss.co.uk

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