ESSENCE OF THE TAO 29“Great, not only am I going to die, but I’m going to have my spine broken
in the process.” The little bit of hope that I had for survival was completely
dashed. I was forced into a state of absolute surrender. Instead of fighting to
live, I was now fighting to die gracefully. I was smashed on the rocks over
and over until I blacked out.
When I eventually came to, I was drifting out to sea. After the events that
had just unfolded, every muscle fiber in my body was beyond exhausted.
There was no question, my time had come, and I didn’t have the energy to
fight for survival. I took one last breath and began to sink into the mystery
that awaited. Fortunately, at that moment I was grabbed and rescued by Scott,
another participant in the retreat. Scott had grown up as a lifeguard in the
San Francisco Bay area and was waiting for me get away from the rocks. After
a daring escape, he got both of us safely back to shore. Had it not been for
Scott, I wouldn’t be here writing this book.
Lying on the beach, I was very relieved to find that I hadn’t been seriously
injured despite the beating that I took. As we hiked back to the retreat center
that afternoon, I couldn’t help but see all the warning signs not to swim along
the trail. The signs were everywhere, but I still had chosen to ignore them.
Isn’t this true in life too? It’s like we get off course and the universe whispers
in our ear, “Warning, don’t go there.” But, we don’t listen and we continue.
Then the wisdom of the Tao speaks more audibly, “I said, warning, don’t go
there.” And of course, we still don’t listen, so then the Tao screams, “You big
fool, WARNING, DON’T GO THERE!” If we are lucky, we eventually get the
message. If not, we pay the price. The wisdom of the Tao is always speaking
to us. The question is, Are we listening?
“Nothing ever goes away until it teaches us what
we need to learn.” —Pema ChodronI didn’t listen and I paid the price. I almost paid the price with my life.
In many ways, I had been fighting the natural flow of the Tao. This near-
death experience taught me many things. It taught me to become an expert
in surrender. I was forced to surrender to a power greater than myself. I was
awakening from the small self to the big Self. It taught me that in the end,
there is only love. In that moment of drowning, the only thing I thought about
were the people who had loved me and the people I had loved.
The ocean washed away the things that were no longer serving me in a pos-
itive way. Our greatest challenges become our greatest blessings. I was walking
down a new path, the path of Tao. The rest of the retreat became a celebration
of life through yoga, meditation, chanting, good food, gratitude, and commu-
nity. This was just the beginning. It was as if a door had been opened, and I
had taken that first step into the other side. For the time being, one foot was in
the old paradigm and the other foot was in this new world of finding the Tao.
Now, let’s get back to yin and yang. We have seen the yin-yang symbol many
times (see figure 2.1). This symbol is simple, yet quite profound. First, notice