OmYogaMagazineFebruary2019

I

’m sure many of us can relate to that

delicious feeling after savasana, when

you’re invited to roll over onto your

side, draw your knees in and rest a

little. “Take your time,” the instructor

whispers, and you feel as if you could keep

your eyes closed and keep on drifting

forever. I have students who ask regularly

for a yoga sleepover, so they don’t have

to rise out of that reverie. It can be hard to

bring yourself back to a seated position to

end the class and drive home, when all you

want to do is stay curled up, feeling safe

and deeply rested.

I have moments as a parent, where I

want to adopt that same position and stay

there all day. Sometimes, I just don’t want

to get out of bed in the morning and face

the day and the chores that it brings. There

are also times during the day that I could

just sneak off unnoticed, and disappear

for a few hours, shelving responsibilities

for later.

Fear – Anxiety – Guilt

• Anxiety – Fear
  I was sitting in circle this week with a mother
  who is a week from birthing her second
  child. With a toddler at home, she is fearful
  that she may never again have breathing
  space. Looking forward, she sees herself
  joined to two children, without any space
  for herself. Her fear has turned to anxiety

om family

How to carve out a little space and time for yourself amid all the

pressures of parenting and daily life. By Siri Arti

Breathing Space

and the anxiety has made space for guilt.

With only days to go before her baby arrives,

she managed to shout out for help. Feeling

helpless and hopeless, she called upon her

sisterhood to share her fears. We listened,

supported and shared our own stories of

parenthood so she didn’t feel alone. And then

we collectively came to the conclusion that

space must simply be taken. We decided that

permission could be granted to curl up in a

safe bundle and claim the space necessary to

feel human again. We realised that falling into

fear gives our power away, and in doing so

decreases the space within us and outside of

us – a vicious circle.

We explored ways that parents can make

space when there seems to be none, and

how to stay connected to inner knowing

that seems to go AWOL when the going

gets tough. The conversation made me see

the image of the post-savasana curled up

rest pose, and the comfort it creates in the

moment. Dark and personal, it offers silence

and safety. I promised myself that I would curl

up like that whenever I need to, or find other

ways to make space to nurture myself. It’s

helpful to be aware of how you manage your

days. Check in with yourself to notice how

you feel, and to ask what might be needed

in that moment. Again, let me remind you

that a conscious parent is one who aspires

to be awake enough to notice, and then

to make the necessary changes to bring

positive change. Become the silent witness

of yourself and you’ll learn to know when

it’s time to step away, curl up and rest and

leave the family and chores behind.

Some ways to step aside and

make space:

n Enjoy a mindful cup of tea: just sit

and notice the experience without

distraction.

n Go for a walk with or without the kids.

n Find a quiet space and listen to a podcast.

n Hand your children to someone

trustworthy and relish some quiet time.

n Take a regular digital detox.

n Declutter to make space in the house.

n Take deep and conscious breaths

in times when you notice stress or

anxiety is present.

n Soak in a candlelit bath.

Remember that life is a gift; don’t drift or

create a rift. Be mindful and know that

you deserve some calm and quiet to bring

balance to your life. Be bold and claim

your space and in doing so, maintain your

magic powers.

Siri Arti is the founder of Starchild Yoga

which runs yoga teacher training courses

in the UK and overseas. Find out more at:

starchildyoga.com