RECLINING HERO POSEFour years ago my partner committed suicide. Two
months later, my mother died. Losing them both
so close together was like getting ripped open. I
was so devastated I didn’t know what to do. I took
a break from teaching yoga and went to visit a
friend who was taking a jewelry-making class, and
she showed me how to make beaded bracelets. I
started making bracelets nonstop. When I tell you
it was all I could do, it was all I could do.
Eventually, I got inspired to make prayer-bead
necklaces, or malas. In the yogic and Buddhist
traditions, a mala is used like a Catholic rosary.
You hold it in your hand and turn one bead at a
time—starting at the center bead, which is called
the guru bead—while saying your prayer or man-
tra. Then you move to the next bead and say it
again, and work your way around back to the
guru bead. Some people don’t use the necklaces
for the practice of mantra but instead wear them
to receive the energetic benefits of the semipre-
cious gemstones they’re made with, which have
a variety of properties, like grounding, protec-
tion, love, and balance.
At the beginning, beading kept my mind
occupied and gave me something to do when I
wasn’t lying in bed, grief-stricken. I used the pro-
cess to stay present instead of allowing my mind
to wander too often to those places of pain and
questioning and uncertainty.
I started wearing malas every day. As soon as I
made one and put it on, someone would come up
to me and say, “I love it. I want to buy it.” So now
I have my own shop.
The mala I wear all the time is simple. It’s made
of sandalwood, which is very calming. I wear it
to remind me that I’m connected to everything
else, just as each bead is connected to the next
bead. I learned so many lessons from the expe-
riences I went through, and I wear the mala to
keep them available and accessible.