CHaPtEr 14: MINDFUL SELF-CarE • 329Self-Soothing
Self-soothing is an effective tool in emotional regulation (Cook-Cottone, 2015; Linehan,
1993). Self-soothing is a positive, healthy response to feeling stressed, distressed, or an
intense emotional reaction (Cook-Cottone, 2015). Self-soothing includes relaxation tech-
niques, deep breathing, pursuit of stimuli or activities that are calming and relaxing (Cook-
Cottone, 2015). There are many other ways to self-soothe. For example, reading, writing,
and cultivating sensory awareness are all effective forms of self-soothing (Cook-Cottone,
2015; Davis et al., 2008; Norcross & Guy, 2007). Students can learn to use self-soothing in
response to a trigger and planned as a preventive tool (Cook-Cottone, 2015; Davis et al.,
2008; Norcross & Guy, 2007). The items that follow assess a wide range of self-soothing
behaviors.
taBLE 14.4 Self-Care Self-Soothing Items
Ask yourself, “This past week how many days did I do the following?” You can give yourself
the following scores: 0 = never (0 days), 1 = rarely (1 day), 2 = sometimes (2–3 days), 3 = often
(4–5 days), and 4 = regularly (6–7 days). For the items that state “reverse score” score as:
4 = never (0 days), 3 = rarely (1 day), 2 = sometimes (2–3 days), 1 = often (4–5 days), and
0 = regularly (6–7 days). Your score for this section can range from 0 to 52.- I used deep breathing to relax.
- I did not know how to relax (reverse score).
- I thought about calming things (e.g., nature, happy memories).
- When I got stressed, I stayed stressed for hours (i.e., I couldn’t calm down)
(reverse score). - I did something physical to help me relax (e.g., taking a bath, yoga, going for a walk).
- I did something intellectual (using my mind) to help me relax (e.g., read a book, wrote).
- I did something interpersonal to relax (e.g., connected with friends).
- I did something creative to relax (e.g., drew, played an instrument, wrote creatively, sang,
organized). - I listened to relax (e.g., to music, a podcast, radio show, rainforest sounds).
- I sought out images to relax (e.g., art, film, window shopping, nature).
- I sought out smells to relax (lotions, nature, candles/incense, smells of baking).
- I sought out tactile or touch-based experiences to relax (e.g., petting an animal, cuddling
a soft blanket, floated in a pool, put on comfy clothes). - I prioritized activities that help me relax.
Self-awareness/Mindfulness
Self-awareness and mindfulness are fundamental and unique features of mindful self-care
(Cook-Cottone, 2015). These self-care practices include formal and informal mindful and
yogic practices (e.g., mindful awareness, yoga practice, and meditation; Cook-Cottone,
2015). Well reviewed and detailed throughout this text as well as in Cook-Cottone (2015),
self-awareness, one-mindedness, and active practices, such as meditation and yoga, are
emphasized as they are increasingly acknowledged for their effectiveness as self-care
practices (Cook-Cottone, 2015; Linehan, 1993; Norcross & Guy, 2007; Sayrs, 2012; Shapiro &
Carlson, 2009).