334 • Part IV: MINDFUL SELF-CarE FOr StUDENtS aND tEaCHErS
that care providers hold that can lead to burnout. These include thoughts such as: the belief
that a teacher must be successful with all students, that the teacher must be one of the most
outstanding teachers, and that the teacher be liked by all students. Students can have rigid
beliefs as well (i.e., “I must get all As,” “My teachers must never be disappointed in me,”
“Everyone at school must like me,” “I must look effortlessly perfect at all times”). Although
I have seen it across the array of self-regulation difficulties, rigid beliefs such as these share
perfectionism, a quality incompatible with self-compassion. In some pockets of our culture,
perfectionism is held as achievable and honorable. In practice, I actively discourage perfec-
tionism by defining it as romanticized rigidity (Cook-Cottone, 2015). Students typically laugh
and then get it. By dropping perfectionism and labeling it as just another way to be rigid,
students can more easily move toward more compassionate ways of thinking about behav-
iors, goals, and the self (Cook-Cottone, 2015). Self-compassion is the focus of a very recent
and growing body of research and appears to play a role in self-regulation (Cook-Cottone,
2015). For example, self-compassion has been found to be negatively correlated with emo-
tional regulation difficulties (Vettese, Dyer, Li, & Wekerle, 2011) and self-compassion can
help students reach achievement goals and cope with academic failure (Neff, Hsieh, &
Dejitterat, 2005).
taBLE 14.10 Self-Care Self-Compassion Items
Ask yourself, “This past week how many days did I do the following?” You can give yourself
the following scores: 0 = never (0 days), 1 = rarely (1 day), 2 = sometimes (2–3 days), 3 = often
(4–5 days), and 4 = regularly (6–7 days). For the items that state “reverse score” score as:
4 = never (0 days), 3 = rarely (1 day), 2 = sometimes (2–3 days), 1 = often (4–5 days), and
0 = regularly (6–7 days). Your score for this section can range from 0 to 28.- I noticed, without judgment, when I was struggling (e.g., feeling resistance, falling short of my
goals, not completing as much as I’d like). - I punitively/harshly judged my progress and effort (reverse score).
- I kindly acknowledged my own challenges and difficulties.
- I engaged in critical or harsh self-talk (reverse score).
- I engaged in supportive and comforting self-talk (e.g., “My effort is valuable and
meaningful”). - I reminded myself that failure and challenge are part of the human experience.
- I gave myself permission to feel my feelings (e.g., allowed myself to cry).
Spiritual Practice
Spirituality involves inspiration from something greater than yourself (Cook-Cottone, 2015;
Harper, 2013; Norcross & Guy, 2007). Specifically, spirituality can be sourced from a sense
of mission, purpose, and value as well as from religion (Cook-Cottone, 2015; Harper, 2013;
Norcross & Guy, 2007; Sayrs, 2012). Spirituality is a seeking. Spirituality can be a source
of strength and meaning (Harper, 2013; Norcross & Guy, 2007). The spirituality items
address bringing meaning or purpose into work or school life as well as your personal life
(Cook-Cottone, 2015). Cultivating spiritual moments, connections, and experiences are also
addressed.