CHAPTER 2: dYSREgulATion To diSoRdER • 27When we do, the pathway to learning is opened up. For example, a student might have an
abusive parent in the home and, with support, the parent might get help. With the potential
changes in the family, the student was freed from chronic stress and domestic violence and
could focus on his or her studies. However, as I was beginning to learn in school, through
my work in neighborhood centers and group homes, and would later experience directly in
schools, school disengagement and failure are, more often than not, a complex mix of risk
factors that present within the student, the school environment, family, and community.
School is like life in this way. It’s complicated.
For example, Alesha, age 16, dropped out of school because of obstacles that she
believe she could not surmount. For Alesha, despite years of adequate academic progress
in elementary school, a bumpy yet manageable middle school experience, 10th grade was
more than she could handle. It wasn’t one thing. There was trouble at home, and it was
often difficult to study. Her older brother had dropped out and was in and out of trouble
with the police. Alesha had always been an anxious child, following after her mother, and
her worries about her brother and her parents got in the way of her ability to pay attention
in class and persist in longer homework assignments. School felt frenetic, and many of the
teachers seemed stressed and overworked. She was starting to struggle in the classes that
required her to write papers. She felt overwhelmed by them and did not know where to
start. She avoided the classes in which the outlines and drafts were due. She no-showed
for afterschool help. It was difficult for her to get in to see the school counselor, school
psychologist, or school social worker because they all worked across several buildings, and
their schedules were difficult to access and figure out. There were teachers who cared and
tried, but Alesha didn’t trust them and often avoided the people who could have helped her.
Alesha’s response to all of it was to shut down emotionally, disengage socially, and sidestep
her schoolwork. On the outside, this looked like resistance and lack of effort as her behaviors
did little to engender the support that she needed. The school had long ago cut its social and
emotional learning program and had only one part-time counselor to offer support to the
hundreds of students in the building. Feeling a need to do something positive in her life,
Alehsa got a job at a local salon helping out. She felt needed there, made some side money
to help around the house, and felt part of a community. Whenever she thought about school,
she was overwhelmed. Alesha had only a few positive coping skills and felt disarmed when
it came to approaching academic challenges. There were no programs at school and no one
at home to model them for her. Without intention and skills to help her handle her distress,
her lack of attendance gradually transitioned to school dropout status.
Benjamin, age 15, experienced the challenges in a different way. He lived with his
grandmother because his dad had been incarcerated, and his mom was engaged in an
ongoing struggle with substance abuse. Child protective services had placed Benjamin in
kinship care with his grandmother because his mother did not provide adequate supervision
or food. Benjamin was the oldest and worked hard to try to keep his family together. His
grandmother drank nightly, and, although she provided basic care, she often needed a lot
of help to get dinner to the table and the younger kids to bed. Benjamin’s grandmother
was also actively dating and had her boyfriend, and sometimes his friends, to the house on
school nights. By the time Benjamin got to school some mornings, he was exhausted and
irritable. He had been behind in reading during his early elementary years and had been
placed initially in academic intervention services and then special education. He also had a
long list of discipline referrals. Benjamin did not respect adults, including adults at school.
If you asked Benjamin, he would explain that his mother, grandmother, and father were all