om family
I
’m writing this column from Taiwan while traveling for work.
Ten days into my trip, I become aware of empty space in my
head, and although an oddity, it’s also a revelation. It took me
a while to reach this place, and now that I have, I notice how
rare it is. I begin plotting on how to protect it.
As soon as I arrived in Taiwan, I worried that my children would
struggle without me. I also regretted taking an extra week beyond
my work commitment just to travel the island. It seemed selish, and
I also missed all that ofers me comfort: my home, my children, my
pup and my routine. Then I recalled why I took the extra week, and
encouraged myself to accept the adventure. The truth is I have been
feeling stuck for a while. I felt frustrated by domestic chores and the
lack of spontaneity showing up in my days.
I was bored but too scared to admit it. An opportunity to travel
appeared and although nervous to leave my teenagers on their own,
I grabbed the chance to escape and booked time out from my family,
my chores... shopping, cooking, cleaning and being mumma-uber. It
sounded good in theory, but there is always a process, and it has
taken me 10 days to arrive at the current space in my head.Calm & spacious
So here I am, sipping oolong tea in a quaint café in the Beitou
District of Taiwan, feeling calm and spacious, when I notice a song
playing softly in the background. As sneaky as sabotage can be, the
song catapults me back a few years to a time when my daughter
played the song repeatedly on her guitar. She was having a hard
time and this song kind of told her story. I’m far away from home and
still the song takes me back to this sad story as if it were happening
right now. As I recall that time, the space in my head is replaced by
memories of a darker period. Tendrils of thought threaten to run
amok. I run the risk of taking the bait and travelling back in time to
re-live the experience, but in my newfound protector of space role, I
choose instead to let the memory go and gently bring myself back to
my tea and the present moment.Finding elusive balance
As parents, there is a lot to occupy both our time and our minds.
This becomes habitual behaviour and is relentless. From the moment
our babes are born, we worry. The more children we have, the more
we have to organise or worry about. Of course we celebrate life too,
and experience joy and bliss and all that good stuf, but the worry
takes residence in our parental selves and forever after, our task is
to hunt down an elusive balance.
So here I am in a café, sipping tea and being mindful, without
a chore in sight. I have inally managed to let go of all that binds
me, and I notice that delicious sweet spaciousness again. A gift so
valuable I wrap myself up in it, and treasure the moment. I notice the
soft music playing, the fragrance of the tea, and the calmness in my
body and I silently give thanks for space and tea.
I’m thankful that I listened to my frustration and had the courage
to create time for myself, and that my teenagers are surviving
without me. To protect this space, I vow to create moments during
ordinary day-to-day life as a parent; and to enjoy space and tea
whenever I want to. And as my days in Taiwan are nearing an end,
I’m of to enjoy the hot springs for the afternoon to celebrate my
breakthrough. I wish you all moments of peace too, so we can
collectively create enough space necessary to feel grateful for all
that we have. May we always remember to make space for tea.Siri Arti is the founder of Starchild Yoga which runs yoga teacher
training courses in the UK and overseas. Find out more at:
starchildyoga.comyogabliss.co.uk
the small
yoga
shop
with the
big heart
'hygge' blanket