Australian Yoga Journal – August 2019

PHOTO: SHIKHAR BHATTARAI/STOCKSY

suddenly realised. When you finally

know that you really are not your

thoughts or that you actually can

change your experience by chang-

ing your perception, everything will

feel a little different, and you’ll sense

that your world will never be the same

again.

THE HONEYMOON

The phase that begins with the descent

of grace—with its synchronicities and

seemingly miraculous realisations—is

like falling in love and discovering that

your beloved loves you, too. It’s often

called the honeymoon phase, and it can

last for years. During the honeymoon,

you may feel as though all of your

struggles have vanished. Spiritual power

runs through you—sometimes so

strongly that others catch it. You may

feel a euphoria that comes with sensing

the presence of grace. For many people,

this creates a subtle (or not so subtle)

feeling of spiritual superiority: a feeling

that you’re being guided or shown the

way, and a slight disdain for people who

haven’t gotten there yet. This is often the

moment when you decide to indulge

your whims—leave your old life behind

and run off to India or quit your day job

and open a yoga studio. Sometimes it’s

the right decision. Sometimes it isn’t.

THE FALL FROM GRACE

The danger that comes with the

honeymoon period is the risk of over-

confidence. In the euphoria of your love

affair with transformation, you can

overstep boundaries by believing that

you can do no wrong or by blindly

following intuitive guidance without

discernment. For this reason, almost

inevitably, the honeymoon with grace

will be followed by some kind of fall—

or at least the feeling of having fallen.

Sometimes it feels like dryness, like you

have been cut off from the flow that

you’d experienced. Maybe you made a

professional mistake; fell in love with

someone inappropriate; or quarreled

with your best friend, your family, or

your teacher. Perhaps you ditched your

marriage or became discouraged by the

complications involved in making a

significant life change. But just as often,

what feels like a fall is actually a deep

purification, an emotional detox, during

which psychological issues and

vulnerabilities that you may not have

processed emerge to be looked at and

worked through.

Why does this happen? Usually it’s

because our psychological vessel is not

quite strong enough to hold our

powerful spiritual insight. Here’s an

example. Years ago, a friend of mine

attended a meditation retreat with a

prominent teacher from India. During

one of the meditation sessions, she saw

a beautiful golden light inside herself

and realised that many of her beliefs

about herself—her feelings of guilt, of

unworthiness, of lacking—were

completely unreal. “It was more than

seeing a light,” she said. “I saw my own

beauty and goodness.” The experience

left her in a state of almost operatic

bliss, accompanied by a new gift of

psychic insight that convinced her that

she was being guided from within.

Following both the bliss and the

guidance, she left her professional

career to live at her teacher’s ashram.

She began to practice with great

discipline, following the intuitive

notions that came from inside. She used

to say, with unmistakable pride, “I’m so

fortunate: I never have to worry about

what to do, because I always have this

internal knowing.” After a while, her

intuition began guiding her food

choices. More often than not, it would

tell her to eat very little—often less than

a handful of food at mealtime. She

began losing weight. Her teacher told

her she was too thin and strongly

warned her to consume more. But since

her inner guidance was telling her

otherwise, she kept eating less and less.

It was only when she became extremely

thin that it was clear that she had

anorexia and needed to address certain

psychological issues.

She left India, got a job and a

therapist, worked through her eating

disorder, and came back to her practice

on a much firmer footing. But for a long

time, she believed that she had failed

somewhere on her spiritual path, fallen

from grace, and been counted out of the

game. In fact, what she needed was to

find some sort of balance in her body

and psyche before she could move

forward.

This is an extreme example, for sure,

but it illustrates one of the laws of

spiritual awakening: Even when you’re

given a glimpse of who you can be, it

usually takes work to bring the separate

strands of your being into alignment

with the vision. Some of this is simply

fine-tuning, but some of it can be quite

radical, especially when shadowy

aspects of your personality surface.

During this part of the process, as you

oscillate between your new self and the

“During the honeymoon, you may feel as

though all of your struggles have

vanished...”

58

august/september 2019

yogajournal.com.au

yj77_54-59 quantam leap.indd 58 19/7/19 5:54 pm

PHOTO: SHIKHAR BHATTARAI/STOCKSY

suddenly realised. When you finally

know that you really are not your

thoughts or that you actually can

change your experience by chang-

ing your perception, everything will

feel a little different, and you’ll sense

that your world will never be the same

again.

THE HONEYMOON

The phase that begins with the descent

of grace—with its synchronicities and

seemingly miraculous realisations—is

like falling in love and discovering that

your beloved loves you, too. It’s often

called the honeymoon phase, and it can

last for years. During the honeymoon,

you may feel as though all of your

struggles have vanished. Spiritual power

runs through you—sometimes so

strongly that others catch it. You may

feel a euphoria that comes with sensing

the presence of grace. For many people,

this creates a subtle (or not so subtle)

feeling of spiritual superiority: a feeling

that you’re being guided or shown the

way, and a slight disdain for people who

haven’t gotten there yet. This is often the

moment when you decide to indulge

your whims—leave your old life behind

and run off to India or quit your day job

and open a yoga studio. Sometimes it’s

the right decision. Sometimes it isn’t.

THE FALL FROM GRACE

The danger that comes with the

honeymoon period is the risk of over-

confidence. In the euphoria of your love

affair with transformation, you can

overstep boundaries by believing that

you can do no wrong or by blindly

following intuitive guidance without

discernment. For this reason, almost

inevitably, the honeymoon with grace

will be followed by some kind of fall—

or at least the feeling of having fallen.

Sometimes it feels like dryness, like you

have been cut off from the flow that

you’d experienced. Maybe you made a

professional mistake; fell in love with

someone inappropriate; or quarreled

with your best friend, your family, or

your teacher. Perhaps you ditched your

marriage or became discouraged by the

complications involved in making a

significant life change. But just as often,

what feels like a fall is actually a deep

purification, an emotional detox, during

which psychological issues and

vulnerabilities that you may not have

processed emerge to be looked at and

worked through.

Why does this happen? Usually it’s

because our psychological vessel is not

quite strong enough to hold our

powerful spiritual insight. Here’s an

example. Years ago, a friend of mine

attended a meditation retreat with a

prominent teacher from India. During

one of the meditation sessions, she saw

a beautiful golden light inside herself

and realised that many of her beliefs

about herself—her feelings of guilt, of

unworthiness, of lacking—were

completely unreal. “It was more than

seeing a light,” she said. “I saw my own

beauty and goodness.” The experience

left her in a state of almost operatic

bliss, accompanied by a new gift of

psychic insight that convinced her that

she was being guided from within.

Following both the bliss and the

guidance, she left her professional

career to live at her teacher’s ashram.

She began to practice with great

discipline, following the intuitive

notions that came from inside. She used

to say, with unmistakable pride, “I’m so

fortunate: I never have to worry about

what to do, because I always have this

internal knowing.” After a while, her

intuition began guiding her food

choices. More often than not, it would

tell her to eat very little—often less than

a handful of food at mealtime. She

began losing weight. Her teacher told

her she was too thin and strongly

warned her to consume more. But since

her inner guidance was telling her

otherwise, she kept eating less and less.

It was only when she became extremely

thin that it was clear that she had

anorexia and needed to address certain

psychological issues.

She left India, got a job and a

therapist, worked through her eating

disorder, and came back to her practice

on a much firmer footing. But for a long

time, she believed that she had failed

somewhere on her spiritual path, fallen

from grace, and been counted out of the

game. In fact, what she needed was to

find some sort of balance in her body

and psyche before she could move

forward.

This is an extreme example, for sure,

but it illustrates one of the laws of

spiritual awakening: Even when you’re

given a glimpse of who you can be, it

usually takes work to bring the separate

strands of your being into alignment

with the vision. Some of this is simply

fine-tuning, but some of it can be quite

radical, especially when shadowy

aspects of your personality surface.

During this part of the process, as you

oscillate between your new self and the

“During the honeymoon, you may feel as

though all of your struggles have

vanished...”

58

august/september 2019

yogajournal.com.au