ELLE.IN 120 JULY
SELF
After three decades of struggling with ‘insomnia’, Kalyani Prasher
discovered her sleep disorder was a little more complicatedTHE HOURS
I
haven’t slept well for over 30 years
now. As a teenager, it was kind of
dope to be the brat who slept late
at night and struggled to wake
up, but I hadn’t bargained for this
to last my entire life. Once I began
working, I was no longer able to catch
up on my sleep in the afternoons—
and starting a full day of work on
two-hour sleep meant I came home
and crashed, and was awake all night
again. It was a brutal, endless loop.
Naturally, I diagnosed myself as
an insomniac, and spent most of my
youth staring at the ceiling at nights,
until the smartphone revolution
brought the internet into my hands.
I was still staying up till about 4 or 5
am, but now at least I had something
to do. But blue light is worse for
sleep, you say? I knew that. I hadn’t
been sleeping for years and years
anyway, and it made zero difference
to my ability to sleep for those two
hours every night.
Then five years ago, I quit full-time
work and yay!—for the first time in my
life, after struggling through school,
college and my 10-year job, I was
now able to sleep in every day. Soon,Photograph: Leenarts Justine