80 Scientific American, December 2019 Illustration by Matt CollinsANTI GRAVITY
THE ONGOING SEARCH FOR
FUNDAMENTAL FARCESSteve Mirsky has been writing the Anti Gravity column since
a typical tectonic plate was about 36 inches from its current location.
He also hosts the Scientific American podcast Science Talk.Lunar
Litter
People dump their
junk everywhere,
even the moonBy Steve MirskyOne can learn a lot by brows-
ing Twitter. In early October,
for example, I found out that
one way to tell if a particular
lung cancer treatment (anti-
PD-1/anti-PD-L1 therapy) is
working is if the gray hair of
patients returns to its youth-
ful color; eight species of
roundworms were discovered
living in California’s Mono
Lake despite its high levels of
arsenic; and, seriously, the
president of the United States
tweeted that Democrats “are
continuing to interfere in the
2016 Election.” Make that
witch hunt a tachyon hunt.
I was also informed, via a
tweet by Charles Fishman,
author of One Giant Leap:
The Impossible Mission That
Flew Us to the Moon, that in
2012 nasa published “a com-
prehensive catalogue of hu-
man artifacts on the Moon”:
space waste.
The following quiz looks
at the stuff left just by the
Apollo moon landings. Of
the hundreds of pieces of
detritus, I chose four from
each mission. I then added
one item that is not actual
lunar trash. Your job is to
identify the object that was
not in fact left on the moon.
Answers follow. Correct re-
sponses win you deep per-
sonal satisfaction.
Apollo 11:
Defecation collection devices
Lunar overshoes
Hammer
Tongs
Buzz’s buzzer
Apollo 12:
Defecation collection devices
TV zoom lens
Color TV camera
TV adapter cable
Copy of the 1953 classic sci-fi
movie Cat-Women of the Moon
(some how featuring music
by Oscar-winning composer
Elmer Bernstein)
Apollo 14:
Defecation collection devices
Towels
Lunar module ascent stage
Gnomon
Yesmon
Apollo 15:
Passive seismic experiment
leveling stool
Wet wipes
Lunar dust brush
Dune Buggy–style vehicle
Spray can of Vapoorize (as later
seen in the 2004 movie Envy,
with Ben Stiller, Jack Black,
Amy Poehler, and Oscar
winners Rachel Weisz and
Christopher Walken)
Apollo 16:
Defecation collection device
Tissue dispenser
High-gain antenna assembly
Vise device
Rice spice
Apollo 17:
Defecation collection devices
Antibacterial-antifungal ointment
Wrist mirror
Nail clippers
Tardigrades able to survive on
a diet exclusively of toenails
Bonus Question:
Why didn’t the Apollo 15 astronauts
leave any defecation collection
devices on the moon?ANSWERS:Buzz’s buzzer. I have shaken his hand and did not receive an electric shock. Apollo 11:But if you annoy him enough with claims that the moon landing was faked, he willpunch you in the face, as he did in 2002 to a particularly aggressive provocateur whocalled him a liar and coward.Videocassette technology was too primitive Cat-Women of the Moon. Copy of Apollo 12:in 1969 to allow movies and a playback system to be sent to the moon without addinga great deal of additional mass that would require significant amounts of extra fuel.Read the book! (Did you know that Ron Howard’s brother, parents, wife and Apollo 13:oldest daughter were in the movie?)There’s no such thing as a Yesmon, although many organizations, businesses Apollo 14:and presidential cabinets are filled with yes-men.- Vapoorize is a fictional feces-removal product and was in any case unnecesApollo 15:
press nasa ) because, according to a 1971 Bonus Question answersary for this mission (... sealed after use release, “solid body wastes are collected in plastic defecation bags
and stowed in empty food containers for post-flight analysis.” Probably back on Earth.- Rice spice. Rice does not require a specific spice, although saffron and carApollo 16:
damom are popular spices for use with rice.Tardigrades. Although they can’t be conclusively ruled out. Apollo 17:JOIN THE CONVERSATION ONLINE Visit Scientific American on Facebook and Twitter or send a letter to the editor: [email protected]© 2019 Scientific American