26 newyork| november25–december8, 2019
IMAGE:COURTESYOFOLIVIANUZZIintelligencer
everyonewhotextswithRudyGiulianiknowsthe hands of fate con-
trolthefingertips.DigitalcommunicationwithPresident Trump’s
75-year-oldpersonalattorneyisa delicateexercise in optimism and
patience.Or, asonelongtimeGiulianiassociatephrased it, “This is a little
bitlikea babywitha hammer, ora monkeywitha typewriter.”
Thisfall,asGiulianihasemergedasa centralfigurein the impeachment
inquiry,hisclumsyphonecomportmenthasoftenbecome worldwide news,
addingextra absurd wrinklestothealreadyabsurd saga of a quid pro quo in
Ukraine and raisingquestionsabouthowa chronicbutt-dialer who wears his
AirPods upsidedowncouldbea WhiteHousecybersecurity adviser.
There was thetimeheaccidentallycalledNBC’s Rich Schapiro and left a
voice-mail in which he could be heard alleging that Joe Biden’s family was
corrupt. Or the time he accidentally called Schap iro again and left a voice-
mail that documented a conversation about overseas business in which he
said, “We need a few hundred thousand.” Or when he texted Axios’ Jonathan
Swan a voice recording in which he could be heard “talking to a guy,” as SwanThe Swamp:
Olivia Nuzzi
̄_(ツ)_/ ̄
A reporter’s guide
to texting with
Rudy Giuliani,
Trump’s attorney.
A text thread from October 11.