I
32 April 2019 _ PopularMechanics.com“Good luck.” And it turned out I had some,
because when I unboxed the random pump
from my local True Value, it was the exact
model of the dead one in my crawl space.
I plugged it in, the AC roared to life, and I
duck-walked as fast as I could out of there
so I could go brag to my wife about how
I fixed something.
That was a minor triumph. My friend
Louis tends to go bigger. Way bigger. When
he didn’t like the contractor quotes he got
on a swimming pool, he said, “A pool is
just a hole in the ground with some plumb-
ing. I can build a pool.” Which is kind of
like looking at the Acropolis and saying,
“It just needs a little masonry.” One would
expect that this story ends with a misshapen
muddy hole in the backyard, littered with
PVC pipe and broken dreams, but no. The
pool turned out spectacular. And I should
know, because I helped dig it. One week-
end, Louis called and said, “Do you know
how to drive a Bobcat?” Of course, I told
him, though I didn’t. But you don’t want
to tell the guy who’s building his own pool
that you don’t know how to do something.
An hour later, I was lurching around in the
pit trying to remember which pedal does
what. I figured it out and spent a couple dayshaltingly scooping dirt. Louis later returned
the favor by helping me expand my deck,
projects begetting projects.
Now, occasionally, you will hit an impasse
that requires calling in a professional.
And they will not be happy to get involved
with your ineptitude. You attempted to
usurp their expertise, and now you pleadN MANY FACETS OF LIFE, we strive to
improve ourselves. Maybe you want to
run a faster 5K, or read more books,
or visit a place you’ve never been. And
yet, when it comes to home or automo-
tive projects, we tend to reach a point
of stasis. Even if you’re handy, there’s a
fear that can discourage you from trying.
I say, be brave. Tackle that project you don’t
think you could possibly handle. What’s the
worst that could happen? Okay, don’t think
about that, because the answer might be
electrocution, fire, or toilet geysers, possi-
bly all at once. But the upside is a sense of
accomplishment that is pure and unadul-
terated and probably all out of proportion
to whatever you did.
I’m not sure Thomas
Edison’s first f lick of
a light switch felt any
more exuberant than
mine after I installed
my first fixture. I did
it! I’m still alive, the
lights work, and I didn’t
have to call a guy! It’s an
addictive feeling, I tell
you, and now I chase it
all the time. For better
and worse.
Sometimes, it’s a
small thing. When our
air conditioner crapped
out, the HVAC guy
traced the problem to a
condensate pump that
was no longer pumping. “I’ve got one in my
van,” he said. “$300.” Now, I know nothing
about the price of condensate pumps. I do
not trade condensate pump futures on the
pump market. But that sounded like way too
much. “I think I’ll just go get one myself,”
I said, feeling my stomach knot as the words
tumbled out of my mouth. “Okay,” he said.for it? The gall. “Half my business is YouTube
heroes who figure, ‘Hey, I can install my own
lift kit,’ and then screw it up and come to me
to fi x it,” says my friend Keith, who ow ns an
off-roading shop. For professionals like him
who regularly deal with amateur hackery, I
hope there’s at least some satisfaction in rep-
rimanding us for our idiocy.
When I installed my Nest thermostat
(incorrectly), the technician who showed
up didn’t try to hide his exasperation.
“I get calls for these all the time,” he said.
“You know, it’s not always as easy as pull-
ing the wires off the old thermostat and
plugging them into the new one.” Uh, yeah,
tell me about it. Even though he was clearly
affronted by my HVAC hubris, the end
result was a win-win: He got paid to fix my
bungled installation, and I prostrated
myself in shame. Everything turned out
fine. Perhaps I should have called him
in the first place, but as the old saying
goes, You don’t know you’re not good at
HVAC until you turn down the thermostat
and your floor vents start blowing air that
feels plumbed straight from the earth’s
molten core.
Other projects fared better. The kids’
treehouse. My Bronco’s radiator and heatercore. The pendant lights and the tile and
toilets. I didn’t know how to do any of that
until I tried. Lately I’ve been thinking
about paving my driveway myself. What is
pavement, anyway? Just a bunch of wet
rocks that you smooth out and then dry.
I can handle that. And if I can’t, I’ve got my
apolog y ready to go.BEFORE AFTER
In Praise
of Overly
Ambitious
Projects
When in doubt, give it a try.
COLUMNS
/ BY EZRA DYER /↓ OMANUALWNER’S