2020-01-01_PC_Gamer_(US_Edition

I

t’s official: Magic
wands are better than
guns. Why shoot a
bullet when you can
shoot a bouncing ball
of energy that dribbles fire
everywhere? Noita lets you
customize your own magic wands,
so, if I wanted, the projectiles could
fire in a shotgun spread, and the
projectiles could be venom instead
of magic energy. If I find the right
spells and wand components I can
shoot antigravity bolts that curve
up toward the ceiling.

I’m not sure why I’d want to do that,
but Noita gives me the option
anyway, and that’s why I love it. It’s a
2D roguelike set in a cave system full
of zombies, spiders, bats, flaming
demons and, er, snipers with laser
sights. Fluids and materials are
meticulously simulated. Every pixel is
affected by gravity. Wood smoulders,
water flows, blood splatters, whisky
goes up in flames. Your custom
wands are little matchsticks that can
set off extraordinary chain reactions.
Sometimes they kill your enemies,
often they kill you.
Noita lets you export gifs of these
chain reactions so you can share your

misfortune with the world. Players

have been swapping scenes of

spectacular physics-driven violence.

One player equips a thunderstone to

make them electrically charged. Then

they shoot water-creating bolts and

walk into the puddles to electrocute

enemies. Another player finds a

chainsaw and starts drilling down

through the crust of the earth to

reach the end of the level.

MOST WANDED

Noita has only just arrived in Early

Access, and should stay there for

“about a year” according to the devs.

It’s already good, but I’m excited to

see new spell effects, creatures and

secrets come into the game gradually.

Early Access is a worthwhile

experience for action roguelikes like

Noita and Dead Cells. You get to enjoy

the novelty of each new addition and

watch the game evolve towards its

eventual final form.

Noita is already full of secrets. If

you journey to the left edge of the

map at the very beginning of a run,

you can propel yourself up to the

branch of a tree. Digging around

reveals mysterious tablets and an egg

that hatches a giant worm. There’s

plenty of room to add strange new

events and secret zones. Noita would

do well to look to Terraria’s array of

bizarre boss monsters.

Personally I haven’t had much

fortune myself in Noita’s depths, but

the chance of finding a really killer

wand keeps me coming back. I’m still

experimenting with custom wands,

applying extra caution after I

accidentally blew myself up with a

poorly chosen ‘explosion of sulphur’

spell effect. That casts at point-blank

range, it turns out. The wand that

fired out a spray of lit dynamite sticks

also ended bloodily. Little by little I

will learn my craft. The zombies of

Noita will fear my mighty wands.

TOM SENIOR

THIS MONTH

Exploded in a ball of

sulphur.

ALSO PLAYED

To o m u ch Destiny 2

Melt your own face with magic in the chaotic NOITA

“Players have been swapping scenes

of physics-driven violence”

WOOD SMOULDERS, WATER

FLOWS, BLOOD SPLATTERS,

WHISKY GOES UP IN FLAMES

They probably should’ve

raked those leaves.

EXTRA LIFE

NOW PLAYING (^) I UPDATE I MOD SPOTLIGHT I HOW TO (^) I REINSTALL I WHY I LOVE I MUS T P L A Y