The Washington Post - 16.11.2019

C2 ez re the washington post.saturday, november 16 , 2019

rent, I suspect it’ll feel like

money very well spent.

re: breaking up: “I’m not at

physical risk at this point”

strikes me as a red flag that

didn’t get addressed in your

response.

— Anonymous

anonymous: I took it at face

value — that staying is not a

safety issue — but if there’s a

“yet” e lement, then, National

Domestic Violence Hotline: 800-

799-SAfE.

to all the unhappy

cohabitators: I was you, once,

and engaged, too. I remember

feeling like the energy required

to break up was more than I

could muster. All the wedding

details to unwind, moving

apartments, the heartbreak of

the actual breakup. I remember

feeling like I just didn’t have the

power to stop the gathering

momentum.

The way I solved it was just

saying the words out loud, first

to my mom, then to my fiance. “I

don’t want to get married.” And

then the rest, it just happens.

Hard, yes, but possible. Just

saying this in case it helps

someone muster the courage to

make a hard choice.

— Out Loud

out loud: This is so helpful,

thank you.

Write to carolyn hax at

[email protected]. get her

column delivered to your inbox each

morning at wapo.st/haxpost.

 Join the discussion live at noon

fr idays at live.washingtonpost.com

Adapted from an

online discussion.

Hey, Carolyn! So

I’m currently

living with a

boyfriend of

about four years;

we’ve had ups and

downs, broken up

and gotten back together a few

times. We moved in together

over the summer, and for me at

least I knew it would be

instructive in understanding

whether there’s a future in this

relationship.

As it turns out, I’m sure that I

don’t see a future with this man.

We have different behaviors: I’m

social, typically wanting to see

friends at least once a week; he

will go months between happy

hours or other stuff. Different

priorities: I’m a believer in

traveling/experiencing things

now, he’s much more of the “save

now, play later” s chool. We even

want to be in different places: I

just took a great new job and like

where we are, he is ready to

move to a state with a lower cost

of living as soon as possible.

I also find him a generally

negative person — I get a little

tired of hearing about terrible

things around the world

basically every night when I

come home. To be fair, he might

accuse me of being mary

Sunshine. I wouldn’t disagree.

our lease is up in a few

months. Would you recommend

ending things on the now-ish

side, and have a few months

where we’re either living

together awkwardly or someone

ends up paying for two

apartments or whatever, or

whenever the lease comes to us

for renewal, ending things then?

I can survive through the lease;

I’m not at physical risk at this

point. I just want to be

considerate about this.

— Breaking Up

breaking Up: You will have a

few months where you’re either

“living together awkwardly” or

paying double if you break up

now, yes — but if you wait to

break up, isn’t that also “living

together awkwardly”? With a lie

of omission on top?

With very few exceptions, the

time to break up is when you

know you want to break up. It’ll

be hard, I’m sorry — but if you

can afford a few months of extra

Breaking up is hard to do.

Staying together can be, too.

Carolyn

Hax

nick galifianakis for the Washington post

fore Congress to deny, downplay

or shrug off her professional acu-

men and her experience. She was

prepared to defend her reputa-

tion because it was a presidential

assault on it that had brought her

there in the first place. And as she

stood up for herself, she also tried

to protect the country she served.

Her scarf was a billowing remind-

er of the value of the state — the

beauty of it, even.

The woman at the witness ta-

ble did not weaponize fashion.

She deputized it to speak freely

and with diplomatic aplomb.

[email protected]

one’s honor and the importance

of respected traditions.

Is that reading too much into a

few feet of silk? When committee

Chairman Adam B. Schiff (D-Ca-

lif.) asked Yovanovitch to assess

her work abroad, she noted, “I

actually think where I’ve served

over the years, I and others, have

made things demonstrably bet-

ter.” And then, she quietly but

firmly pointed out that credit for

improvements in areas where she

was stationed goes to “the work of

the United States and to me as the

ambassador.”

Yovanovitch did not come be-

kling.

In addition to her jewelry, she

was also wearing an oversized

scarf draped around her neck. It

wasn’t tied. It wasn’t prim. The

scarf was like a silken billboard.

The eye was drawn to the gold,

military references in its formal

design. The scarf appeared to be a

“grand uniforme” design by

Joachim metz for Hermès. In the

center of a red border, there are

eagles and crowns and references

to sabers. It’s not a ghoulish or

overtly violent pattern. It’s a

stately declaration of military

might, of a willingness to fight for

pins. Those little round discs
rooted them in politics, in the
inescapable talking points, inevi-
table grandstanding and poison-
ous unctuousness.
Yovanovitch signaled that she
was there for country, for elusive,
nonpartisan facts. Her brooch
was in the stylish tradition of
former secretary of state made-
leine Albright who built an entire
diplomatic vocabulary on the
symbolism of her many and var-
ied pins. And Yovanovitch came
in with the American flag twin-

notebook from C1

Former ambassador sends a message of might with her scarf

na and Sech, a rising Afro-Pana-

manian singer who cracked the

Billboard 100 chart with his love-

sick reggaeton b allad “otro Trago.”

It’s a lso h ard to ignore r osalía’s

evolving aesthetic, which has in-

cluded razor-sharp nails, slicked-

down baby hair and — most re-

cently — a chrome-colored mouth

grill, which the singer wore in the

music video for her gritty new

single “A Palé.” fans of her cross-

over success, meanwhile, point to

her intensive musical training.

And her music projects an appre-

ciation for multiple genres — she

name-checks both salsa legend

Hector Lavoe and her favorite fla-

menco singer, Camerón de la Isla,

in “Con Altura.”

The 26-year-old phenom’s

breakout has been elevated by

showstopping performances at

tour stops across the United

States, Latin America a nd Europe.

Her growing number of fans in-

clude s talwarts of L atin music.

“I think she’s t he only artist who

can be compared to Beyoncé i n the

Latin world,” Colombian rocker

Juanes recently told the New York

Times magazine.

In t he same article, t he singer —

who was n amed p erson o f the year

by the Latin recording Academy

ahead of Thursday’s telecast —

recalled s eeing rosalía sing for t he

first time two years ago.

“I wanted t o die,” J uanes said. “I

mean, I had never felt something

so s trong w ith s omeone singing in

front of me like what I felt that day,

and on top of everything else she

was such a young woman, you

know? for me it was like seeing

Carlos Gardel or Edith Piaf or

someone l ike that sing.”

[email protected]

Daddy Yankee and spawned a

massively popular r emix featuring

Canadian pop s tar Justin B ieber.

While some fans (and media

outlets) pointed out the fraught

dynamic, the rosalía backlash

seems more prominent. “I think

what made rosalía so surprising

to some people is that she’s from

Spain,” rivera-rideau said.

rosalía has clearly been em-

braced by reggaeton’s biggest

stars, b ut it’s t ough to overlook the

fact that several heavy h itters were

absent from Thursday’s telecast. J

Balvin and Daddy Yankee were

among the artists protesting this

year’s Latin Grammy nomina-

tions, which relegated reggaeton

stars to so-called urban genres

even as they dominated Latin pop

charts and racked up billions of

views on YouTube. T he dissonance

was particularly felt during two

standout performances from ozu-

with Panama, as a formative place

for the genre) that it was forced

underground in its early years.

Artists such as Te go C alderón, D on

omar and Daddy Yankee — whose

2004 hit “Gasolina” became the

first reggaeton song to be nomi-

nated for the Latin Grammy

Award for record of the year —

helped usher reggaeton into the

mainstream pop stratosphere.

But as the genre became more

widely popular, “there’s an argu-

ment that reggaeton has shifted

and has become whitened,” said

Petra rivera-rideau, an assistant

professor of American studies at

Wellesley College who explored

the rise of reggaeton amid evolv-

ing racial identities in her 2015

book, “remixing reggaeton: The

Cultural Politics of race in Puerto

rico.” fonsi, she noted, was not

known for making reggaeton be-

fore “Despacito,” which featured

those categories, including best
urban song for “Con Altura,” an
energetic ode to living life at full
blast, featuring Colombian reg-
gaeton star J Balvin and Spanish
musician El Guincho, w ho co-pro-
duced “El mal Querer.”
There has been increasing de-
bate about whether Spanish art-
ists should win awards for Latin
music, particularly when it comes
to urban genres. The discussion
went full-volume in September a f-
ter the mTV Video music Awards,
where rosalía performed “Yo x Ti,
Tu x mi,” a reggaeton duet with
Puerto rican breakout star ozu-
na. “Con Altura” won the best Lat-
in award at t he e vent.
“I’m super proud of being Lati-
no right now,” J Balvin said as he
and rosalía accepted the award.
“Thank you, because it’s such an
incredible h onor,” rosalía told t he
audience. “ I come f rom Barcelona.
I’m so happy to be here represent-
ing where I come from and repre-
senting my culture.”
While rosalía’s VmA perfor-
mance — a medley of s ongs i nclud-
ing “A Ningún Hombre,” her al-
bum’s stunning final track —
earned praise, the best Latin win
raised eyebrows. The harshest as-
sessments played out on social
media, where critics weren’t shy
about pointing to Spain’s brutal
colonization of Latin America as
the awkward elephant in the
room.
It’s a particularly complex dis-
cussion when it comes to reggae-
ton, which i s rooted in black music
including reggae, dancehall and
hip-hop and was so heavily po-
liced in Puerto rico (cited, along

rosalía from C1

L atin music has a f raught relationship with Spain

chris pizzello/invision/associated press

rosalía performs a medley at the 20th latin Grammy awards in

las Vegas. she won four awards including album of the year.

HOLIDAYEVENTS

Jointhe 10,000

people of all ages

whostarttheir

holidays with this

DC tradition each

year! Group and

youth discounts

available.

$12-65

GWLisnerAuditorium

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Washington,DC2 0052

http://www.revelsdc.org

As the Winter Solsticedrawsnear,three performers

from far-offlands dazzlearustic Europeanvillagewith

stories from their cultures. Butwhenthe darkest night

descends,thesevisitors mustbeginacelestial journey

toreclaim the light! Sing along anddance in theaisles

with our cast of over 100, ages9-90,as we celebrate

the season withmusic, dances andtales from across

the centuriesand aroundthe world.WelcomeYule!

December 7-15,2 019

Matinee&Evening Shows

The 37th Annual

ChristmasRevels

“Celestial Fools”

THEATRE

$32-105

WoollyMammothTheatreCompany

641 DStreet NW,

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Woollymammoth.net

Thehilariouswomen of The Second City arebackat

Woolly this holiday season withabrand new play that

satirizes thereality of beingawomen in theUS,

exploding the myths and misrepresentations

surrounding bodypositivity,bachelorettes, Beyonce,

the 2020 ballotand includes thereappearance of

everyone’sfavoriteT- Rex.

December 1, 2019 –

January 5, 2020

ShethePeople:

TheResistance

Continues

MUSIC-CHORAL

Tonight–one

performance only!

Tickets available at

Kennedy-Center.org

$10-$68

JohnF.KennedyCenterforthe

PerformingArts

270 0FStNW,Washington DC

Kennedy-Center. org

or call 202-467-4600

Join us and experiencemusic thatbrings us together and

lifts us up. The Mozart Requiem is performed with full

chorus,orchestra, and soloists, alongside vibrant choral

worksbyJennifer Higdon and Josef Rheinberger,and

composer Joel Puckett’sachingly beautiful “This

Mourning,” written inresponsetothe Sept. 11 attacks.

Saturday,November 16,

8pm

Tonight only:

MozartRequiem

+More

Chorus, orchestra, and

soloists

MUSIC-ORCHESTRAL

Free Free parking

ChevyChasePresbyterianChurch

1ChevyChase Circle

Washington,DC2 0015

http://www.apolloorchestra.com

TheApollo Orchestra will featureNewYork Philharmonic

principal cellistCarterBreyinaprogram featuringworks by

Respighi, Haydn andSchumann.

Sunday,November 17

at 4pm

TheApollo

Orchestra

With Carter Brey,cello

OPERA

Tickets

available

at the

Box Office

KennedyCenter

OperaHouse

kennedy-center.org

or call (202) 467-4600

Asaraging stormbreaks on Cyprus,the governor

Otelloreturnsvictorious from battle. Butthereisanother

storm brewing. Iago, Otello’s ensign, launchesamalicious

scheme to leadhis chief to believe his wife Desdemona is

unfaithful. As Iago’s manipulations decay Otello’s trust in

those he loves, the great herowill confront his most fatal

enemy:his ownjealousy.In Italian with Projected English

Titles

FinalPerformance

Tonight at 7

Washington

NationalOpera:

“Otello”

Music by GiuseppeVerdi

Libretto by Arrigo Boito,

basedonShakespeare’s

Othello

COMEDY

Discounts available

for groups of 10 or

more.

Call 202-312-1427

RonaldReaganBuilding $36

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Amusical, political satire.

Weput the MOCK in Democracy!

Info: 202.312.1555

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Fridays&Saturdays

at 7:30pm

MakeAmerica

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DANCE

In collaboration with

Fundación Casa

Patas(Madrid)

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GALATheatre

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Seethe mesmerizingRaíz de4with flamenco dancers

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ThruNov 17

Sat at8pm

Sun at2pm

FUEGOFLAMENCOXV

International Festival

FILMS EVENTS

In Spanishor

Portuguese with

English subtitles

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GALATheatre

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Nov20: El Rio/The River

Nov21: Socrates

Nov22: Cinderelo

Nov23: AlgoQuema/ Still Burn4pm&AsDuas

Irenes/ TheTwoIrenes7pm

Nov24: El Reydel Barrio/The Kingofthe

Neighborhood4pm&Restos deViento/Wild

Tr aces7pm

Wed, Nov 20 at7pm

Thurs, Nov 21 at7pm

Fri, Nov22at7pm

Sat,Nov 23 at4pm,7pm

Sun,Nov 24 at4pm,7pm

ReelTimeatGALA

Mexico, Brazil&Bolivia

From the Streets to the

Screen

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