If we want
to push our
daughters
to compete
side by side
with our sons,
we have to
be willing
to teach
them to be
comfortable
with making
someone else
uncomfortable
with their
talent and
success.
I a Woman” speech, but there were tensions between Truth and abolitionists
such as Stowe.
Truth “was not a Southern enslaved person. She was in the North. She was in
New York State with Dutch owners,” Unger Baskin said. She was self-sufficient,
spoke well, dressed well, and acted too much like an equal. That pattern would
repeat itself in the suffrage movement and the equal rights movement and into
second-wave feminism of the 1970s.not as it was portrayed in tapestries and paintings and literature, but rather
as it was actually conducted, with callused hands and financial acumen and
clever strategy, is enlightening and heartbreaking.
Why don’t we know more about these brave women? How is it that their
stories have been overlooked or erased? Most unsettling to me as I listened
to Unger Baskin describe her life’s work was recognizing that so many of the
women had to strategically build an audience for their work without calling
too much attention to themselves, because they were operating well outside of
their prescribed roles. Surviving as a businesswoman was a special art. But first
each had to survive as a woman.
My mother gave me that slip of paper because she never wanted me to accept
subordinate status. I had two sisters, and the mantra in our house was: “You are
not better than anyone else, but no one is better than you.” It’s the language of
equality, and I find myself sharing it with my own children. But is it the language
of power? If we want to push our daughters to compete side by side with our sons,
we have to be willing to teach them to be comfortable with making someone
else uncomfortable with their talent and success. We have to teach them that
the discomfort is not theirs to solve.
Power has its own language. Captains are powerful. Titans are powerful.
Ringleaders and pacesetters are powerful. Now, ask yourself, when you were
reading those words, did an image of a woman pop into your head? If the answer
is yes, take a bow, and let’s hope your outlook is contagious. But if not, thanks
for your honesty, and let’s get to work.
I have always admired the writer and producer Shonda Rhimes for her story-
telling gifts and monumental success at the production company that bears her
name. For more than a decade, Shondaland churned out profitable and wildly
popular TV shows, featuring women, black, Latino, Asian, and gay characters
in groundbreaking roles. Rhimes now has a multimillion-dollar production deal
that gives her complete creative freedom.
Her success as a woman of color in Hollywood is beyond impressive. But what
I most admire is her unapologetic embrace of her phenomenal success. She has
no hesitation describing herself as a “titan,” which she surely is.
Power has been denied women for so long that it can often feel like a garment
designed for someone else. A generation of women are challenging this. U.S.
soccer star Megan Rapinoe. Tennis great Serena Williams. Susan and Anne
Wojcicki (sisters who are the CEOs of YouTube and 23andMe). General Motors
CEO Mary T. Barra, TV superstar Oprah Winfrey, and all the women who have
inspired the #MeToo movement that rose up to challenge a system that flagrantly
disregarded women’s rights for decades.
When the stories of sexual harassment in Hollywood and then finance and
then journalism and then everywhere exploded into a drumbeat of, yes, titans
dethroned for sexually abusive behavior, a small group of women began meeting
in Hollywood every day to collectively demand changes that would protect and
uplift women. Their effort ran parallel to the #MeToo campaign to raise aware-
ness about sexual harassment. The Hollywood group was looking to create a
movement, not a moment, and they called it Time’s Up.
Half of the early attendees and many of the financial supporters were women
of color, and as their numbers grew with each week, so too did their focus,Examining women’s
work over centuries,