6 |^ December 2019
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EDITOR’S LETTER
results. “As troubling as violence and cruelty are in
our society, the actual level of positive cooperation is
astounding at an evolutionary level,” Daniel Fessler, Ph.D.
and anthropology professor at UCLA, said in the article.
“Our species is a hyper-cooperative one. No other
species is engaged in such a large level of cooperation
among individuals who are not kin.”
Even small gestures toward strangers can make a
diff erence in the mood of both the recipient and the giver.
As I’ve aged, I’ve found myself becoming more like my
late father. One of his habits, which used to annoy and
embarrass his teenage children to no end, was how he
always cheerfully talked to strangers: the guard at the
museum, a waiter, a fl ight attendant, fellow diners, or
anyone in any sort of line. I fi nd myself now doing it to
such a degree that when my husband sees me eyeing a
potential victim in public, he tugs my arm and says,
“Hold up, Pop Pop.” He’s right. Obviously not everyone
wants to engage in conversation, but I fi nd more often
than not people are happy to share a smile or a laugh
over a common experience.
I’ve learned a lot and met
many nice people following
in my father’s footsteps, so
no amount of arm-tugging
will stop me from continuing
his tradition.
What do you want for the holidays? For most of us,
I’ll bet the No. 1 answer is to spend quality time with
our family and friends away from the workaday
commitments. I’ll add something I think most would
hope for as well—to be thought of.
The year-end holidays that we celebrate in various
forms around the world are a natural time to stop and
value people who are important to us. Too often, we
make shopping for gifts a chore as we rush from store to
store (or stay up late trying to negotiate a last-minute
online delivery), ticking names off a list that has been
weighing on us since Thanksgiving. But let’s not lose
the point of gift-giving. Each present is an affi rmation
between you and
another person. It
doesn’t have to be
expensive or mind-
blowing. People
mostly want to be
noticed, considered,
and valued. To know,
“I am thinking of you.
Here’s something
you might enjoy.”
Naturally, we do this for close family, friends, and
coworkers. But how can we let other people know we
appreciate them? I think in many cases the more random
the association the better. What about giving a small
something to the barista you chat with every morning?
Or a small donation to an organization in a teacher’s
honor? Or a small holiday gift plant to your dry cleaner?
All these acts have profound eff ects.
I recently read an article in the
Los Angeles Times newspaper about a
$20 million gift awarded to UCLA to
open the Bedari Kindness Institute to
study the eff ects of humans being kind
(defi ned here academically as “an act
that enhances the welfare of others
as an end in itself ”). In this school of
thought, doing something for another
person is the opposite of so many of
the transactional—more business or
politically oriented—interactions we
have. The university’s research has
revealed some surprisingly reassuring
PHOTO: MELANIE ACEVEDO/SARAH LAIRD
STEPHEN ORR,
Editor in Chief
instagram @steporr
THE
THOUGHT
T HAT
COUNTS
CHRISTMAS PAST
This month’s cover
image is a re-creation
of the December 1941
cover, a favorite
from our archives.
