Illustration: Sami Viljanto
GRAMMAR TALES 13/2019 Spotlight 21GRAMMAR TALES
Hans and Greta
Erinnern Sie sich an das Märchen von Hänsel und Gretel?
Hier stellen wir Ihnen eine moderne Version vor – zum Schmunzeln
und zum Englischlernen. Von DAGMAR TAYLORMEDIUM AUDIOW
e all know at least a
few fairy tales: Han-
sel and Gretel, Little
Red Riding Hood or
Sleeping Beauty. The
structure of these tales is familiar to us.
They begin with the phrase “Once upon a
time...” and use repetitive language to cre-
ate drama: “Grandma, what big teeth you
have! Grandma, what big ears you have!”
We have rewritten 24 fairy tales for the
21st century. Each one includes examples
of a specific grammatical structure. This
structure is explained in the notes at the
end, where you will also find some related
exercises. This month, we present a new
version of Hansel and Gretel.Once upon a time...
deep in the woods, famous actor Luna
La Beale lived in a house made of ginger-
bread and sweets. Luna had become
famous playing superhero Medusa in
the most successful film franchise ever,
and children around the world loved her.
Nothing much had been heard of the star
recently, however. Rumour had it that she
was suffering from some sort of eating
disorder and was living alone somewhere
in the countryside.
Normally, a house made of gingerbread
wouldn’t stand up to the elements, but
luckily for Luna, it hadn’t rained for years
and her house was still as perfect as the
day it was built. Until, that is, a couple of
lost, hungry kids discovered the sweet
house and couldn’t resist helping them-
selves.
“Try this bit, Greta,” said her brother,
Hans. “I’ve never eaten anything so deli-
cious.”“Jusht a shec,” said Greta with her
mouth full.
Hans pulled off a bit of the roof made
of salted caramel fudge and gave it to his
little sister.
“Hans? Isn’t this someone’s house?
Maybe we shouldn’t be eating it,” said the
girl thoughtfully.
“Eh...?” said Hans. But before he could
think of anything intelligent to say, a face
the children recognized popped out of
one of the sugar-glass windows.
“Help yourselves, why don’t you?” said
the familiar face. “Are you trying to eat me
out of house and home?”
The children froze. They’d been caught
red-handed, and worse still, they’d been
caught red-handed by Luna La Beale.
“A r e n ’ t y o u , a r e n ’ t y o u ...? ” mumbled
Hans. “Aren’t you Medusa?”
“Might be,” said Luna. “Tell me who
you are and what you’re doing here and
I’ll tell you who I am.”
“We’re lost. Our stepmother hates
us and made our dad abandon us in the
woods. We found our way home the first
time, but now we’re really lost,” explained
Hans.
“Hmm, interesting,” said Luna. “You
must be starving. Why don’t you come
in and have some nice hot chicken soup?”
“Thank you,” said Greta, star-struck.
The brother and sister grinned at each
other and followed Luna into the house.
No sooner had the children stepped into
the gingerbread house than Luna grabbed
Hans and locked him in a cage.
“Why did you do that?” asked Hans.
“Don’t worry,” said Luna. “I’ll still feed
you. And when you’re fat enough, I’m
going to eat you.”Greta began to cr y. “Is this a joke?”
asked Hans, who couldn’t believe that the
film star, loved by children the world over,
would... well... want to eat one of her fans.
“I’m afraid not,” said Luna. “I’ve been
hungering for a Hansburger for years.”
“You’re horrible!” said Greta, trembling.
“You’re the one who should be locked up,
not Hans.”
Luna sighed. “Think yourself lucky
I’m not going to eat you, too! Now, make
yourself useful and clean the floor.”
That night, when Luna was asleep,
Hans and Greta tried to think of a way to
escape. “You have to try to get the key to
the cage,” whispered Hans.
“But I can’t,” hissed Greta. “She wears it
around her neck.”abandon [E(bÄndEn]
, verlassen; hier:
aussetzen
disorder [dIs(O:dE]
, Störung
fairy tale [(feEri teI&l]
, Märchen
freeze [fri:z]
, erstarren
gingerbread
[(dZIndZEbred]
, Lebkuchen, Pfeffer-
kuchen
grab [grÄb]
, packen, ergreifen
grin [grIn]
, grinsen
hiss [hIs]
, zischen
jusht a shec
[)dZVSt E (Sek]
, soll heißen: „just a sec“
(Sekunde noch, Moment)Little Red Riding Hood
[)lIt&l red (raIdIN hUd]
, Rotkäppchen
mumble [(mVmb&l]
, murmeln
pop out of sth.
[pQp (aUt Ev]
, aus etw. auftauchen
red-handed: be caught ~
[)red (hÄndId]
, auf frischer Tat ertappt
werden
Sleeping Beauty
[)sli:pIN (bju:ti]
, Dornröschen
star-struck [(stA: strVk]
, fasziniert, stark beein-
druckt von einem Star
starve [stA:v]
, vor Hunger sterben
tremble [(tremb&l]
, zittern
whisper [(wIspE]
, flüstern