C2 eZ re K3 THE WASHINGTON POST.SATURDAy, NOVEMbER 9 , 2019
is based on michael’s classic hit
song “Last Christmas.” But there
is nothing specifically in the story
that demands it be set at Christ-
mastime. If anything, the movie
seems to take joy in mocking
people who enjoy the holiday,
such as Kate, who initially hates
her job at the store, and her
parents’ living next to an absurdly
overdecorated house.
Also — and we say this as
people who unironically love a
good Hallmark or Lifetime holi-
day film — setting a movie at
Christmas does not give it an
automatic pass. multiple reviews
of the movie seem to tiptoe
around too much criticism, be-
cause after all, it’s about Christ-
mas! And you can’t be too harsh
on something that’s set at Christ-
mas! And doesn’t a “Christmas
movie” usually double as a “guilty
pleasure” movie? “If you just want
to stuff your face with a sticky
pudding,” the Wrap offers, “ ‘Last
Christmas’ delivers, even if you
were most likely correct when
you guessed the film’s twist after
watching the trailer.” The Seattle
Times’s critic spends several sen-
tences detailing Clarke’s elf cos-
tume “because I’m stalling for
time while trying to get my head
around the idea that a rom-com
starring Clarke and the equally
charming Henry Golding could
fall so flat.”
As far as the rom-com element
cHrIstmas from c1
Just watch
the trailer
It’s hard to root for and/or care
about either of them until reasons
explained very late in the film —
but having likable characters is
arguably one of the most critical
pieces of a romantic comedy.
As far as the plot goes, you
might have noticed we talk about
a twist several times. The twist is
a very important and very bizarre
part of the movie, and we won’t
spoil it because Clarke seems ex-
tremely upset that it’s already
been splashed around the Inter-
net (even though it’s quite easy to
deduce from the trailer). But
that’s also part of the problem:
When the audience is more fixat-
ed on a twist in a rom-com than
the actual story, it’s a sign that
something has gone terribly
wrong.
[email protected]goes, well... as many reviews
point out, Clarke and Golding
have almost zero chemistry.
Worse than that, both characters
are somewhat insufferable. The
movie starts with Kate trauma-
tized and miserable after a seri-
ous illness, and she deals with it
by pushing her family away and
doing her best to destroy relation-
ships with all her friends.
Then, out of nowhere, To m
appears at her Christmas shop
and starts trying to teach her to
appreciate life. “Look up!” he ear-
nestly says many times, which of
course leads to a bird, um, reliev-
ing itself on Kate’s f ace when they
first meet. He also likes to dance
and twirl around in the street,
and he doesn’t carry a cellphone.
(“manic Pixie Dream Boy” is a
common descriptor of his role.)JonAtHAn PrIme/unIVersAl PIctures
Bankable actors michelle Yeoh and emilia clarke star in “Last
christmas,” but despite the film’s pedigree, critics have been frosty.bunch of other parents could feel
virtuous in their outrage, and
then go home and forbid their
daughters from wearing crop tops
while never forbidding theirbeing sexually active in a June
episode of the family’s reality
show and T.I. rolled with it. “I
don’t want any of my children to
have sex before it’s time for
them,” he said then. “But who’s to
say when it’s time?” He added,
“However, I will definitely feel
different about a boy than I will
about a girl.”
T .I.’s gynecological obsession
lets everyone pretend that the
problem is dudes who submit
their offspring to invasive
internal exams and then have the
nerve to demand “their” r esults
“expeditiously.”
The problem is assuming that
there was anything the universe
— any medical exams, any purity
balls, any short-shorts, any sexual
decisions — that could make a
father feel differently about his
daughter.
[email protected]monic a Hesse is a columnist writing
about gender and its impact on
society. for more visit wapo.st/hesse.teenage sons from ogling girls in
crop tops.
It’s worth noting that T.I. has
sons. It’s worth noting that his
then-15-year-old son admitted torestaurant to spy from behind the
lobster tank. But: cue the swell of
music, when his daughter
discovers him, instead of telling
him she’s creeped out, she tells
him he doesn’t need to worry.
She’s not going to do anything. He
raised her right, and by “right,”
we mean “chaste.” father of the
year.
The seeds have already been
planted in most of our brains:
this concept that fathers are in
charge of monitoring and
shepherding their daughters’
sexuality. This concept that a loss
of virginity is a personal affront to
the patriarch of the family. T.I.
takes the seed of this idea and
blossoms it into a forest, giving
other fathers of daughters an
opportunity to laugh at his
excess.
It’s heartening that the
immediate public reaction to T.I.’s
announcement was derision and
disbelief. But he’s also a scapegoat
in all of this. He’s a father who
behaved so indefensibly that ayou, on this spectrum.
If you’ve ever begun a phrase,
“A s the father of daughters... ,”
implying that you didn’t realize
that women were people until
one sprung from your loins and
that you didn’t care what men did
to them until one did it to your
babygirl — well. You might not be
on the spectrum, but you’re
spectrum-adjacent; y ou’re just a
few Zip codes away from
Hymenland. The phrase comes
from a paternal impulse to
protect daughters from harm. So
does vagina panic, except the
hymen doesn’t need protection,
because sex isn’t inherently
harmful when a grown woman
chooses it.
fathers, if you’ve done these
things, it’s not entirely your fault.
These are behaviors and phrases
that popular culture mines for
laughs and sentimentality. Haha:
Some Tim Allen look-alike has
padlocked his daughter’s door so
she can’t go on a date! Haha: Now
he’s followed her to theStanding outside your
daughter’s hotel room on her
wedding night, demanding to
examine a wad of bloody sheets?
This act was bizarrely medieval,
but it wasn’t a complete outlier,
the relic of some distant chapter
of human history. Vagina panic is
still a central theme to modern
fatherhood.
There’s a spectrum, of course.
fathers: If you have ever
escorted your daughter to a
“purity ball,” or presented her
with a promise ring, or done
anything else implying that her
virginity is something she should
preserve for you rather than for
herself, you’re definitely on this
spectrum.
If you’ve ever strolled over to
your daughter’s homecoming
date and told him to have her
home by 11 because you have a
concealed-carry permit and a
brother in the CIA, heh heh heh —
you are, I deeply regret to inform
Hesse from c1
Why do so many dads think it’s their duty to monitor their daughters’ virginity?
MONICA HESSE
PArAs grIffIn/getty ImAges for netflIx/AllIed IntegrAted mArKetIng
rapper t.I. was excoriated online after he said that he escorts his
daughter to her gynecology exams to make sure she is still a virgin.brothers’ bodies. VfX techniques
were also employed when oli-
ver reed died while filming
“Gladiator,” and when Nan-
cy marchand died during the
“Sopranos” run. “rogue one,” t he
Star Wars movie written as a
lead-in to the original trilogy,
used digital effects to bring back
Grand moff Tarkin, the Death
Star commander played by Pe-
ter Cushing, who died in 1994.
But in all those cases, the late
actors had already consented to
playing the characters. Dean’s
role in “finding Jack” would be
more similar to Audrey Hepburn
appearing in a 2014 chocolate
commercial, but as a major char-
acter in a feature-length project.
The music industry has grappled
in recent years with, as a recent
Washington Post magazine arti-
cle put it, “the spectacular,
strange rise of music holograms.”
(for example, a digital projection
of Tupac Shakur joining Dr. Dre
and Snoop Dogg’s Coachella set
in 2012.)
In addition to Dean’s family,
CmG Worldwide represents hun-
dreds of other deceased celebri-
ties: r&B artist Aaliyah, rocker
Jerry Garcia and actors
Burt reynolds, Christopher
reeve and Ingrid Bergman, to
name a few. Despite the criticism,
CEo mark roesler expressed a
desire to further explore this CGI
technology.
“This opens a whole new op-
portunity for many of our clients
who are no longer with us,” he
said.
[email protected]stands the acting craft.”
The late robin Williams’s
daughter, Zelda, at one point
sharing a GIf of the “Jurassic
Park” quote, tweeted her criti-
cism of the casting news at
length. robin Williams’s trust no-
tably restricted the exploitation
of his image for 25 years after his
death, preventing a situation sim-
ilar to Dean’s from occurring.
Zelda reminded her followers of
this, writing that she believes “we
should let the great performers of
the past rest. They took their
bows themselves.”
“I have talked to friends about
this for YEArS and no one ever
believed me that the industry
would stoop this low once tech
got better,” she wrote in another
tweet. “Publicity stunt or not, this
is puppeteering the dead for their
‘clout’ alone and it sets such an
awful precedent for the future of
performance.”
Visual effects have resurrected
the images of other film actors.
Paul Walker died during the mak-
ing of “furious 7,” so VfX artists
superimposed his face onto hisand low for the perfect character
to portray the role of rogan,
which has some extreme complex
character arcs, and after months
of research, we decided on
James Dean. We f eel honored that
his family supports us and will
take every precaution to ensure
that his legacy as one of the most
epic film stars to date is kept
firmly intact. The family views
this as his fourth movie, a movie
he never got to make.”
Dean rose to icon status for his
performances in the 1955 films
“rebel Without a Cause” and
“East of Eden,” t he latter of which
landed him one of the first post-
humous acting nominations in
oscars history. (He earned anoth-
er best actor nomination in 1957
for “Giant.”) Public reactions to
the notion of resuscitating Dean’s
short career have been largely
negative, with some pointing out
that it wouldn’t truly be Dean
on-screen.
“This is awful,” actor Chris Ev-
ans tweeted. “maybe we can get a
computer to paint us a new Picas-
so. or write a couple new John
Lennon tunes. The complete lack
of understanding here is shame-
ful.”
Actress Julie Ann Emery
wrote, “Yeah, that’s not
James Dean. It’s his face on a
motion capture performance and
an ‘anonymous’ actor providing
voice pattern and choices. I’d like
to know how it will be credited.
How the real actors will be paid.
And how little this team under-dean from c1CGI Dean is a giant mistake, some say
“This is awful.... The
complete lack of
understanding here is
shameful.”
Chris Evans, reacting via twitter to
the use of a cgI James deanHOLIDAY EVENTS
Join the 10,000
peopleof all ages
who start their
holidays with this
DC tradition each
year! Group and
youth discounts
available.$12-65GW Lisner Auditorium
730 21st Street NW
Washington,DC2 0052
http://www.revelsdc.orgAs the Winter Solstice draws near,three performers
from far-offlands dazzlearustic European village with
stories from their cultures. But when the darkest night
descends, these visitorsmust beginacelestial journey
toreclaim the light! Sing along and dance in the aisles
with our cast of over 100, ages 9-90, as we celebrate
the season with music, dances and tales from across
the centuries and around the world.WelcomeYule!December 7-15, 2019
Matinee&EveningShowsThe 37th Annual
Christmas Revels
“CelestialFools”MUSIC-CHAMBER
Facebook,
21stcentury
consort.orgFREESt. Mark’sEpiscopal Church
301 AStreet SE
Washington,DC“Time Out of Mind” Music by Corey Dundee, Sebastion
Currier,GemmaPeacocke,ChenYi,Sofia Gubaidulina,
Jon Deak, MelindaWagner,with soprano Catherine
GardnerSat. Nov.9th
4:00pmDiscussion
5:00pm ConcertOpening Concert of
2019 –2 020
SeasonMUSIC-CHORAL
For more
information,visit
citychoir.orgorcall
(571) 206-8525$15-59
Group and
student
discounts
availableNational Presbyterian Church
4101 NebraskaAve. NW
Washington,DC2 0016
Free parking available.Arguably Haydn’sgreatestcomposition—“Mass for
Tr oubledTimes”—stunningly captures the historical chaos
of his time. The evening also includes the opening to
Britten’sjubilant“Rejoice in the Lamb,”and Arvo Pärt’s
otherworldly“Salve Regina.”Asoaringchoral event not to be missed!Sunday,November10,
2019 at 5:00 PMHaydn “Lord
NelsonMass”
Robert Shafer,
Artistic DirectorGreat seats
availablefor just
$32, $18, and $10!$10-$68JohnF. KennedyCenterfor the
Performing Arts
2700 FStNW,Washington DC
Kennedy-Center.org
or call 202-467-4600TheWashingtonChorus invites you to join us and
experience music that bringsustogether and lifts us up.
The Mozart Requiem is performedwith full chorus,
orchestra, and soloists, alongsideother vibrant choral
music from the past to the present, including beautiful and
poignant new music for chorus and orchestra, written in
response to the Sept 11 attacks.Saturday,November16,
8pmTheWashingtonChorus
Mozart Requiem
+More
ChristopherBell, Art. Dir.OPERA
Free Parking
Student$25-$75$10 RedLine MetroThe Music Center at Strathmore
5301 TuckermanLane
Bethesda, MD 20852
http://www.MDLO.org
Box office: 301-581-5100The MDLO Orchestra, in its first symphonic concert.
Avariedrepertoireisanchored by Mozart's Piano Concerto
No. 12, featuring pianistLeon Fleisher.Louis Salemno
conducts. Also Includes Deubussy Afternoon ofaFaun
and SybeliusSymphony No. 2.Tuesday,November12 at
7:30pmMDLOOrchestra:
Leon Fleisher
Plays MozartCOMEDY
Discounts available
for groups of 10 or
more.
Call 202-312-1427Ronald Reagan Building $36
1300 PennsylvaniaAve, NW
ticketmaster.comAmusical, political satire.
Weput the MOCK in Democracy!
Info: 202.312.1555
http://www.capsteps.comFridays&Saturdays
at 7:30pmMake America
Grin AgainDANCE“Aparicio dazzled
withhis jackhammer
legs.”
–NYTimes$30--$48GALA Theatre
3333 14th Street, NW
202-234-7174
http://www.galatheatre.orgEntresueño
FlamencoAparicio Dance Company
Nov 9-10Raíz de 4
Rafael Peral&Marisa Adame
From Spain Nov 14-17Thru Nov 10
Satat8pm
Sun at2pmNov 14-17
Thurs-Sat at8pm
Sun at2pmFUEGO
FLAMENCOXV
International Festival